SeaHeart

In real life (and also online), I have the immense joy and pleasure to be surrounded by friends who are also writers. Whether it be at parties or dinner gatherings or simply meeting up to talk in coffee houses, we perpetually mull over that most distinguished, awesome and ridiculous occupation of Being a Writer. I have been very blessed in that regard--my writing life has been filled beautifully with these incredible people, people I trust with my life, my best friends, my confidants. Many years ago, we were all part of the Buffalo Writer's Group. In the past few months, we have slowly been ramping up something that will further cement things, but it's still a secret, and we're not talking about it yet--though I promise I'll share when it gets closer.

But I can share this.

We are all very passionate about certain things relating to our stories and our publishing careers and where we want them to go. Other aspects of our lives color these firmly held beliefs. I, for example, am very much a "do it yourself" sort of girl, madly passionate about creating things, with Glamourkin especially. I see what I want to do and create, figure out exactly what I need to do, and then I just do it. I've always been that way, and it's an awesome gift to have, the drive and determination to do what I know I'm meant to, no matter what.

In our circle of friends, over the past--say, six months--we've been discussing the independent side of publishing more and more amongst ourselves. Pete and Katie, in particular, have always been passionately on the side of independent publishing and self publishing. Admittedly, before I met them (about nine years ago, now), I didn't have the best view of things. Nine years ago, the landscape was markedly different than it is now--there was no Kindle, there weren't eBooks, there was no way to get your books into other people's hands, really, unless you had a publishing contract. Over time, with research and many wonderful talks, I've changed my view of what self publishing is, and how it can work for independent authors.

If you're not a writer, let me explain. Before now, you would write a novel. You'd edit it a lot. You'd write a single page letter and send it to agents. If you were lucky, an agent would decide to ask for your novel. If you were lucky, they would read it and love it and decide to represent it. Then, the agent would shop around your book to publishing houses. If you were lucky, the publishing house might decide to take you on. You might get an advance (a loan against the money your book would make selling, hopefully), you might not--it would be years before you saw any money for your writing.

That's a lot of gate keepers. That's an agent who may not be having a good day, who may not really shop you around all that much if they're not passionate about what you're doing. That's a publishing house who may churn out a horrendous cover (which you don't have any say about, but which--unfortunately--will be the entire hinge on whether you sell or not). In everything, after you write your novel, you have no say.

That's not bad. It's simply the way it was. I have absolutely, positively nothing against legacy publishing.

But, over time, I have begun to wonder if it's for me.

I don't have the depressing stories some of the people who have turned to self publishing possess. I've had agents say incredible stuff about my work, who were actively interested in me. Then, you may ask, why wouldn't I want to go for legacy publishing? Am I throwing everything away?

No, I'm not.

With everything in my life, I've made very careful decisions. But I've also followed my heart. If it tells me to do something, I jolly well go and do it. It's never led me wrong, it's never steered me in the wrong direction. Everything ends up happening as it should.

When I was very sick and delirious, a very strong feeling came over me. Publish The Dark Wife yourself, it said. I asked three times: ARE YOU SURE? And, very sweetly and calmly, the answer came back: YES. I attributed it to fever and forgot about it. When I woke up out of the fever, my sister's boyfriend had sent me yet another link on self publishing. This time, it was the story of Amanda Hocking, who--admittedly--has had rampant, awe inspiring success, selling her books herself. It was a not so subtle sign from the universe: Kid, we've told you eleventy billion times. We gave you the flu so you'd pay attention. What else do we need to do to wake you up?

And I said: I'm up, I'm up. Okay. Got it. This is what I'll do.

And the universe smugly said: that's our girl. XD

I've been researching the hell out of everything, and I've been studying everything J A Konrath does, because he is a self publishing god, and I have decided that I am publishing The Dark Wife myself.

So, what does independent publishing mean?

It means that once I finish edits on The Dark Wife, taking everything that everyone said into consideration, once Jenn has scrubbed the novel down afterwards so that it's grammatically perfect and beautiful, once my sister has painted me a book cover (because she's awesome and wonderful), I will be putting The Dark Wife on Amazon and BarnesAndNoble.com as a downloadable eBook, which will also have a hard copy option (as in, you'll be able to hold the book in your hands, if you want!). I will market the hell out of it. And the book will be available to purchase.

And then I will do the exact same thing that I've done with The Dark Wife with my next novel, which will probably be Jackdaw.

So, the book will be out there. Which, really, is the only thing I've ever wanted. I've wanted people to read my stories. This is how it starts.

I tell stories because I must. I write because my spirit compels me to. I love writing more than almost anything, it sings in my blood, in my bones. Could these actions, these decisions change everything? Could they change our lives? They already have. But I have no expectations, other than the happiness that my story--finally--will be out in the world, and it will do what it will do, and that's all I could ever ask for.

I know people are adamantly opposed to self publishing--especially people who are currently trying to land agents, or who truly love legacy publishing. As I've stated before, I have no bones to pick with legacy publishing, and if that's the path you want to take, I wish you the best and I'm happy and excited for you. I also hope that if you're one of those people, you'll still support me and wish me the best. :)

I will tell the story of how this happens, I will share how I do it, I will share my triumphs and my failings, and perhaps at the end of all of this, I'll be able to tell you a happy ending. Only time will tell--but I'll share it with you, no matter what happens.

Two roads diverged, you see. I took the one I needed to take. And that will, as always, make the difference.

Wish me luck? <3

The Dark Wife will hopefully be available sometime in April. I will keep you posted~ <3

(And, really, this entry is WAY THE EFF more subdued than I actually am about the process, because I wanted to explain everything. The bottom line is that I AM SO DAMN EXCITED ABOUT THIS, I have been EXPLODING OUT OF MY SKIN WITH SPARKLES. XDDDDDDDDDDD So yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!)