SeaHeart

I made a novel deadline for myself last month that seemed healthy, yet still challenging, and doable. I purposefully did not factor in writer's block, because I had the entire thing outlined and how could I POSSIBLY get writer's block on something that comes with an OUTLINE. That's like saying halfway through dinner I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EAT NOW when you have half your plate left.

And yet, somehow, magically and stupidly, I developed writer's block on a cut and dry story.

Because of this, I lost about a week's worth of writing while I muddled my little creativity ship in the no-man's sea of Blocktaculness. There is nothing more frustrating with a deadline LOOMING than sitting there and staring at the screen and pulling your hair out and going WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF AGAIN?

Thankfully, last night culminated in the worst of it, and I was still able to get out a large chunk of the story. Today has proven spectacular thus far, and tonight I have to get eleventy billion more words, and then I'm DONE.

GODS. DONE.

I am NEVER doing that to myself again. I have been so frazzled and have had no sleep for A FEW WEEKS NOW, and have been so frustrated, and I keep forgetting to eat, and I walk around in a caffeine induced haze.

But, if all goes well tonight, I'll be DONE.

I canceled the weekly dinner Jenn and I have with my sister and her boyfriend tonight, which is just sad. I told her, weepily, I'M SO SORRY I AM NOT PUTTING MY WRITING AHEAD OF YOU, I JUST REALLY NEED THIS DONE, and she was SO WONDERFUL, and was like: I KNOW HOW YOU GET WHEN YOU ARE IN THE ZONE, AND I KNOW YOUR INSANE DEADLINE, AND I LOVE YOU AND YOU CAN DO IT, and she proceeded to give me the pep talk of love and sparkles, which was exactly what I needed. <3

When the novel is done, you know what I'm doing? Here's what I'm doing! I SHALL MAKE A LIST:

- I am going to watch an episode of Fraggle Rock.
- We are going to go on the artist's date that I have been looking forward to for WEEKS with Pete and Katie, OMGJOY. <3
- I am going to read a book. Start to finish. I'm just going to sit down, and I'm going to READ IT, and there will be no guilty feelings that I'm supposed to be working on a novel because IT WILL BE FINISHED. *only slightly creepy cackling*
- Victory SMEX LACE DOILIES
- I am going to re-do my altar for Yule.
- I am going to write a short story. Because it's fucking SHORT.
- LOTS OF CUDDLES WITH THE MOST UNDERSTANDING, AMAZING, SUPPORTIVE AND CHEERING WIFE IN THE UNIVERSE.

This list makes me happy. I pets it.

Right now, I am drinking orange chocolate green tea, toffee nut coffee, and am about to make myself another cup of green tea, because two drinks at once (plus water) does not a finished book make.

I shall see you on the other side. AND IT WILL BE A VERY HAPPY OTHER SIDE. <3