SeaHeart

A wind's in the heart of me, a fire's in my heels,
I am tired of brick and stone and rumbling wagon-wheels;
I hunger for the sea's edge, the limit of the land,
Where the wild old Atlantic is shouting on the sand.

Oh I'll be going, leaving the noises of the street,
To where a lifting foresail-foot is yanking at the sheet;
To a windy, tossing anchorage where yawls and ketches ride,
Oh I'l be going, going, until I meet the tide.

And first I'll hear the sea-wind, the mewing of the gulls,
The clucking, sucking of the sea about the rusty hulls,
The songs at the capstan at the hooker warping out,
And then the heart of me'll know I'm there or thereabout.

Oh I am sick of brick and stone, the heart of me is sick,
For windy green, unquiet sea, the realm of Moby Dick;
And I'll be going, going, from the roaring of the wheels,
For a wind's in the heart of me, a fire's in my heels.

~ John Masefield

~*~

We're back. I'm heartbroken. I miss it more than I could ever say.

In some way, shape or form, the sea shows up in my dreams each night, has since I was a little girl. It's as if the Goddess took pity on me, knowing it would be quite a bit of time from infancy until that beloved and often dreamed of house by the ocean in my adulthood. I'm still not even there. So, each night, I'm in the water or on boats, on the shore or flying above it, water, water, everywhere, healing, soothing, beloved--or destroying, fierce, primordial. Either way, it's constant.

My dreams lately have been mutable and often at night. I'm on islands, or in boats beneath a myriad of stars. There are giants of the deep, keeping pace with me, arching glistening backs beneath the stars, sliding through the water almost soundless. I'm never afraid. A kraken's eye blinks at me just beneath the surface, as I dangle sleepy fingers into the ink-black water. Sometimes it's stormy, and great whales keep my boat afloat, pushing with their foreheads against the tiny thing, keeping it above the surface. I'm often with sharks, but I love sharks, and they seem to know this. I'll hold onto their fins, and they'll pull me deep under, where fish glow like fireflies in the depths. Manta rays and turtles keep me stable, let me ride with them. I'm always touching their broad backs or placing a hand on whorled skin. Everything blue, blue, blue for miles, but myself, in that singular moment, fine tuned to this and here and now.

The ocean asks for nothing. It just always is, always carries me and holds me. She could take me back (for we all came from the ocean, She says), but She doesn't. She cradles me in tempest, in starlit night, rocked to sleep on the backs of whales.


by drumsnwhistles

- We're back from our perfect, beautiful, rejeuvanating, magical, completely-and-utterly-wonderful vacation in Florida~ I will write everything out, in all its happiness, hopefully later today or tomorrow. As always, any time spent with Rachel is that blessed, physical reminder of our soul family, the joy and hearts we share together...the complete happiness~

- And OH. MY GODS. YOU GUYS. The ritual on Saturday was the most magical I have ever done. I know I always say that, but it was--I can't wait to share~ <33333

- Sadly, I got a bit sick towards the end of vacation, and am now plunged headlong into a rather icky sickness. I took today off from work, like yesterday, to try to recoup...here's hoping~

- As a side note...every year, I make this sort of declaration, and I'm making it again this year. XD I always forget that Oceanid.org expires on January 30th, and did again this time around. This means that all of my emails to oceanid@oceanid.org that were new were probably lost. I get an obscene amount of email, both regular and spam alike, while on vacation, and I'm so unhappy that I might have lost something important from you! If you emailed me, please re-email it to sarah.e.diemer@gmail.com. I renewed the domain today, but my hosting is a bit slow [notoriously so], so it should be a day or two until I can access my oceanid.org email again, so if you have anything to email, please send it to the GMail address. Thank ye kindly~ <33333

- Suffice it to say that I have a week's worth of catching up to do...but not right now. I'm retiring to bed with L. J. Smith's The Secret Circle: The Initiation based on Rachel's witchy recommendation, and my wife's singular awesomeness (of getting a book pressie for me last night because I didn't feel good. ;-; I love you, baby~). I finished the second half of Tamora Pierce's Trickster's Choice, and read all of Trickster's Queen yesterday...the best thing in the world, I think, is a day curled up in bed with kitties, a rather sleepy Collie pup, tea and books~ Which is exactly how I'm going to spend today. With hopefully a perk-up later this evening for an Imbolc ritual~ <3

Love to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And to those who celebrate, blessed, beautiful Imbolc! <333

Me, at the water's edge at Blowing Rocks--taken by Rachel~ <33333

- In a very few short hours, we will be on a plane headed for Florida. I CAN. NOT. WAIT!!!!!!!!!

- To be reunited with one of my best friends in the cosmos, our Goddess son, the sea...it's too much. My heart is too full to speak.

- On January 30th, there's a full moon...and on the beach, Rachel and I will do a most perfect ritual~ I can't stop smiling when I think about it. Think of me when the full moon dances overhead. I'll be at wave's edge, reborn, seaborn.

- So, I'll leave you with the lyrics of a song that's not leaving my head. I've recently become obsessed with "Seussical," the Dr. Seuss musical. Jenn and I both grew up obsessed with Dr. Seuss (I in love with Horton~), and this culminated in deep love for this incredible story. There are so many songs and parts of it that mirror what's happening in our own lives and journies right now...and some that just made us cry for how lovely they were. "A person's a person, no matter how small..."

There are secrets on a leaf,
In the water, in the air,
Hidden planets, tiny worlds,
All invisible!

...I've found magic but they don't see it...

'Cause I have wings.
Yes, I can fly
Around the moon
And far beyond the sky
And one day soon
I know there you'll be...
One small voice in the universe,
One true friend in the universe,
Who believes in me...