SeaHeart

My Pentacle, on the Mother Tree in Salem, MA. <3


This past week, we celebrated our first year (and fifth!) wedding anniversary by journeying to New England. That handful of days, the moments of pure, intense magic and the riot of blazing colors nature gave us, in abundance, was a gift I'll cherish my entire life. It was the first time visiting New Hampshire, Maine and Vermont (that I remember--I went to these places when I was a year old, and less, but obviously that's not been kept in my brain ;D), and after a lifelong OBSESSION with them, getting to actually go was a dream come true.

Old Bennington Cemetery in Vermont.


We returned to peak leaves in New York state, too...so everything, for the past eight days, has been a treasure in my eyes. When I blink, I see rich colors, when I dream, I dream of palaces built of trees crowned with gold. My favorite season has unfolded itself in a savoring, beautiful explosion of sacred moments, and I've simply been soaking them up as each new one presents itself to me.

I'm going to post more in detail about everything--I have to go finish wirewrapping the Glamourkins for tomorrow's update--but I just wanted to share my many mixed emotions. I feel loved and held and homesick and sad and happy and just...indescribable, really.

Maddie's Yule gift to me last year was a tattoo that we both had spoken of getting for years and years. A quill. It's taken this long for all of our schedules to come together, but we're finally getting them this Saturday. I've had the design idea in my head forever, and yesterday, after we got home in the wee hours of the morning, I sent everything to my tattoo artist. This morning, I received the sketch and stared at the laptop screen, breathless. My heart stopped beating.

All of my stories come from Her, so I needed the Goddess in the quill. And She's there in ways I never could have imagined. Just like in my life. Just like in my heart.

And, on Saturday in the magic season, She comes out--again--upon my skin forever.

Jenn and I have worked every single day, non-stop, inhuman hours, for months with no *definite* end in sight. No human being can do this. We were at a lodge in the mountains with Jenn's parents this past weekend--which was wonderful, but we had to spend the entire vacation working (though there were still wonderful moments, it would have been NICE and RELAXING if we'd treated the vacation LIKE A VACATION). I've been re-reading one of my favorite childhood series, "The Rocky Ridge Series," (it's also sometimes known as "The Rose Years"--a series of books written by Roger MacBride, Rose Wilder's adopted grandson. Rose Wilder was, of course, Laura Ingalls Wilder's daughter.), and I brought the books down with me to read in tiny snatches of moments. I had a lot of epiphanies, strangely enough, re-reading one of my ultimate comfort books for the 1,243,567 time, but one of them was this:

The books chronicle some incredibly hard times, but no matter what, if there was imminent blizzard, or if you didn't gather enough food DEATH may be a possibility, or if there was a raging FIRE, they always, always, always had a day of rest. Even when they were in their covered wagon. A particular line struck me...that even the horses needed a day of rest, because even animals deserve a tiny amount of time to recoup during the week.

Okay. That above paragraph may sound like the most obvious thing in the known universe. But it was like a punch to the gut to me. It has been very, very, very hard these past few months. There have been amazing and wonderful moments, but it's been difficult. We've not given ourselves any amount of freedom or time, because we've felt we didn't have the "luxury" of spending one second away from our work. What this results in is when we take small vacations, we spend the entire time ill or sick, because we've worked ourselves into the ground more than pit ponies (WHY IS SARAH USING ALL OF THE EQUINE METAPHORS).

So I thought about this for a few days, and on the drive back up from the lodge, Jenn and I talked about it. And we were like: yes. We need a day of rest.

This week is one of the most hectic in my life. There's a novel deadline for REASONS on Friday, and I have worked non-stop on this for book for two months (plus more time, but NON-STOP, TWELVE HOURS A DAY for two months). We'd decided, on our drive up, that Wednesday would be what we jokingly referred to as the "Purple Sabbath" of our week.

But...this Wednesday? I was worried about it. Shouldn't I take the entire day and pour over things again? Won't I have to stay up super late on Thursday and Friday to get this done, when I've already been doing this?

And we both decided: you know what? There's ALWAYS GOING TO BE SOMETHING. The Purple Sabbath needs to be as fucking non-negotiable as the tides and the moon phases. Because if it is NOT non-negotiable, we will always, always, always work, instead of rest.

And we need. To. Rest.

So. This is the first Purple Sabbath. I'm sitting in bed writing this post, next to Jenn, who's ALSO writing a post (THE MOST SHOCKING THING SINCE TIME BEGAN, TWO POSTS FROM US ;D). I'm a little happily overwhelmed, in the best of possible ways, with what we could do with this day. The only plan is FINALLY getting to go see this movie tonight at our local crazy-cheap-adorable theater. I also want to head to one of our favorite parks, but in all seriousness, I have ten books on my bedside table that have been giving me sultry eyes every moment of every day, and WHO KNOWS, MAYBE WE WILL STAY IN BED AND READ.

I don't know. But that not knowing is like...the most glorious thing ever.

I was telling Jenn last night: it is a LITTLE SAD when we are overjoyed to the point of TEARS for a SINGLE DAY in which we are allowed to READ AND GO FOR WALKS. But we don't really require all that much in life. A beautiful fall day, spent relaxing with my wife...paradise, in physicality. <3

FURTHER ADVENTURES OF THE SELF EMPLOYED. ;D LESSON SEVEN HUNDRED AND MILLION: SOMETIMES, YOU NEED TO FUCKING REST.

<3 THE END. <3

Jenn and I dialogued at Muse Rising: Why Lesbian YA Stories Are Important: A Dialogue on Project Unicorn by Its Authors. <3 Project Unicorn unches tomorrow!

- While I'm getting ready to post the Fable Tribe update, Jenn is doing something we've been trying to get set up for months: she's posting the first update in our vintage Etsy shop, A Clover and A Bee! <3 It's going to be filled with 80s paper ephemera, toys and antiques--the first update is from Jenn's childhood and teenaged sticker collection, and it's filled with utterly adorable stuff. Take a peek! <3

ACloverAndABee.Etsy.com


- We spent the weekend down with Jenn's parents, celebrating the annual Cancerian Birthday Party (I'm a Cancer, and so are both of Jenn's parents. <3). It was awesome and wonderful, though came right on the heels of another incredibly-almost-catastrophic health related issue concerning her dad. :/ So it was really wonderful to see him okay.

- The Bone Girl is being released August 28th, my first anthology Love Devours is going to be released earlier in the coming month, and Project Unicorn is starting to get a lot of press and notice and OMG EXCITEMENT, WHOAH did people want this. :D I had hoped, but really, the amount of support has been absolutely staggering. <3 So that launches not next week, but the week after it. Holy crap, you guys, it's going to be INTENSE. I love the Project Unicorn themes, but one of my FAVORITE ones is for this first month, "The Dark Woods." It also somewhat ties in to what I'm wrapping up with Love Devours, and what I've been working on with Follow the Wolf, which is part of Sappho's Fables (it's the "Little Red Riding Hood" retelling). So, in short, not surprisingly, and--as always--we're knee deep in stories and words, and there are so many exciting, shiny things coming. <3 Viva la story! <3

- Jenn and I are heading on our yearly pilgrimage to Salem/Gloucester/Rockport in two days. <3 This year, as many things in our lives have, our trip has changed. This is the first time that Jenn and I are going by ourselves (Maddie's going a week after, with her mum! <3), so there's a real feel of second-honeymoon-ness going on. <3 Also, we wanted to have the most inexpensive vacation known to mankind, so we're not staying at a m/hotel. We're camping at Winter Island in our GLORIOUS! PALATIAL! SPARKLE-TENT! We're so hella excited about camping there, words escape me. Every year, we experience the place more and more like the locals do (our hearts belong there, after all!), but this year, we're diving even deeper in that. We're not going to use the car at ALL while we're there, instead simply walking, and taking the train where applicable. We're going to spend hours and hours in coffee shops as we outline our upcoming novels, discussing stories together. We're going to spend hours and hours and hours on the beach at the campground, cavorting in the water like the mermaids we are...it's going to be an easy, relaxing vacation with absolutely nothing to do but spend time with each other, create, and be in love. <3 <3 <3 I'm over the moon. I think this trip is going to change our lives. I have a feeling.

- That's where my mind is. Stories, and going home to the most precious place in the world, to us. Being together, exploring some of our favorite haunts, inventing new trails, being embraced by the perfect blue waves. <3 Finally, going home as a free woman--it holds more meaning than I can describe, that. <3

Today we woke up early, finished up all of our chores, made SIGNS OUT OF RAINBOWS, and then we were READY. For today was the ending of the week-long celebration in Rochester, NY: Pride 2012, ending in the culmination of the Pride parade and festival. And we were marching in the parade!

You have a fair understanding of how much we love and are obsessed with our church, Pullman Memorial Universalist. As married lesbians in an extremely rural community, being able to have a place that we can go, once a week, and be completely ourselves without any fear of repercussion or violence--and not only no FEAR, but the joy of knowing that you're loved by a family that embraces you in every aspect, cares about you so deeply, and is so intensely supportive of you? Yeah, it's one of the most amazing, cherished things in our world. So, when we found out that our church was marching with the contingency of Unitarian Universalist churches from Rochester and the surrounding areas, we were so excited to take part. <3 EXCITED MIGHT BE AN UNDERSTATEMENT, ACTUALLY.

Jenn and I wanted to dress as Pride Fairies, so I got my tutu out, our wedding wings, AND AS MANY RAINBOWS AS ONE PERSON CAN FEASIBLY WEAR. AND THEN ONE MORE, JUST TO MAKE IT GAYER. And GLITTER! THERE WAS A LOT OF GLITTER.

LOOK AT US. WE ARE SO HOT. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, WE WOULD BECOME HOTTER. PROBABLY WE WOULD NOT BECOME GAYER. WE ARE ALREADY PRETTY GAY.


( MORE RAINBOWS and the CONTINUATION of the Story of PRIDE... )

And lo, afterward, we gotteth Pistachio Rose vegan cupcakes as our PRIDE! TREAT! from our favorite vegan deli, and fainted, verily, upon ingestion of them BECAUSE THEY WERE SO DAMN GOOD, thus bringing a SATISFYING and SPARKLY ENDING to our SATISFYING and SPARKLY day. <3

The End. <3

Home from Pride! <3 Exhausted, but so, so happy—we had such an amazing time—I shall post the sparkly bits later!

But I had to show you guys this now! I got the bestest shirt in the entire UNIVERSE there. FIRSTLY, it is the cutest, cleverest pun EVER. Lez-bo(w)! <3 I am madly in love with it. <3

SECONDLY, it looks like SAILOR MOON TIMES. :D *hearts and rainbow sparkles forever!*

(Originally posted at the Sorcery of Love~)

My wife, author Jennifer Diemer's, novella Seven, the third novella of our Sappho's Fables (Lesbian Fairy Tales!) series, is released today! Seven is a lesbian version of Snow White~ <3 (And is BEAUTIFUL. <3)


The strange witch girl Neve has skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and a dark secret. Her father Lexander, an alchemist, harbors an evil obsession, and Catalina, his newest bride, made the grave mistake of becoming his wife. When Catalina finds herself falling in love with his daughter, Neve, instead, the deepening bond between the women sets in motion the final chapter of a story that began long ago, with a desperate longing and a handful of apple seeds. Together, Neve and Catalina must venture into the Huntsman's haunted forest to undo what has been done and set themselves free.

Available for purchase from:
Amazon (Kindle)
Barnes and Noble (Nook) (Coming soon!)
Smashwords (All other eReaders/Online Reading)

Two days after I told Jenn "I love you" for the first time, a thick envelope arrived in the mail. It was about five or six printed-out, neatly-folded pages of a novel she was working on, entitled White. It was intoxicating. Across the space and divide between us, words spanned and had begun to build a bridge. Through fiction, through poetry and music, two women who were many miles apart shared in a connection that was otherworldly. Our love began with stories, seeds planted from our heads and hearts that grew, invited, entwining across the space and divide to spiral our spirits together verdantly.

I read White laying on my stomach on my bed, the snow outside silent and hushed as I read over and over the pages of a novel that had bewitched me utterly. The tracker girl, Kyle, the mad-man and the castle and the quiet girl in search of a beast, and love growing between the girl who bore secrets and the girl who was skilled in finding them. It was weird. It was intense. It was fucking beautiful.

It was also never finished. And it broke my heart. Every day, I keep my unwavering hope and faith that someday, somehow, I will get to read that novel.

Jenn went to college for writing, and graduated with top honors, with accolades and whispered mentions of how great she had become, how much she would be able to accomplish with her fiction. And, after that, she stopped writing. There are many reasons, and it's heartbreaking, because for years and years, my wife wrote not a word.

Writers can not be forced, begged, cajoled or asked to change their writer's block or writing habits. They must choose when they decide, if they have been blocked, to pick up the pen or the laptop again. But I held the space for her, of how deeply I loved her writing, how it was a crime to humanity that she'd stopped, and how I hoped with every last part of my heart, that she would write again.

And then, Sappho's Fables came along. The only writing she'd done in this time was the old lesbian fairy tales we'd done together, and when we started talking about redoing them as a novella series...she was excited. I was ecstatic.

And so it went.

The first volume, I had two novellas, she had one. "Snow White," one of her favorite fairy tales, was retold. Some moments were painful (as anyone recovering from writer's block can attest), but as the days went by, as she went to the page, day in and out, everything else fell away. And my beautiful, amazing, beloved wife finished her first novella. Seven, a lesbian Snow White, is done, and will be released Thursday. <3 <3 <3

Today, I read the novella for the last time--the fully edited, feature-length motion picture edition, if you will. :) And I was floored.

I've known my whole life what an amazing writer my wife was. But all that I've known before is incomparable to what has come, now, to what has opened up within her, and what has begun. The novella is intoxicating. I have wished forever and forever and forever for a story about magic and beauty and pain and darkness, and for a story about a girl like me, with a love that could consume you, heart and soul. And, in every hope for such a thing, I have been disappointed. Nothing in the world is comparable to Seven, and that is an amazing, wondrous thing, because it is filling a hole that needed to be filled.

To be able to overcome something so serious as a writer's block that has lasted almost a decade, and to debut with something so incredibly beautiful, is an accomplishment that is deep and lovely. I am so proud of my wife, so proud to be her wife, so proud and humbled to work on these projects with her. <3

Seven was only the beginning. Now, the novel A Currency of Roses begins...a novel written by my wife that is going to forever shift the face of Gay YA. And who knows? Maybe Currency will, eventually, someday, lead to White.

I know I'm her wife. I know I'm supposed to be her biggest fan. I know you're probably thinking, "Sarah, that's sweet, but your opinion doesn't count and can't possibly be valid, as you're so close to her." But when you read Seven, you're going to understand. You'll see. <3

Until Thursday. <3

- So, my award-winning (THAT IS JUST SO SPARKLY, GAH. *JOY FOREVER*) short story, "The Witch Sea," has FINALLY been changed to free on Amazon (after a two month wait!), but it's just in time for the holiday weekend, and I'm glad it's finally done! :) (Don't ask--I had to do technical things to subvert the system and make it free, and technology is not that easy to subvert, lemme tell ya!) It's about a lonely witch, a sea god, and a selkie, and I'd love to see it get pretty high on the free charts, because everyone needs a little lesbian fiction in their lives! If you have a Kindle, please consider downloading the short story, and if you don't have a Kindle, please consider spreading the word--every little bit helps, and is much appreciated! ♥

Download "The Witch Sea" for FREE!


- After an awesome conversation with Rachel last night that energized and FILLED ME WITH SPARKLE, I stayed up until four thirty in the morning finishing the redesign of my author site, Oceanid.org. I wanted it SUPER SIMPLIFIED, while still giving important information, and be a portal for the book links on their various sellers, our blog and my various social media presences. I THINK IT DOES ITS DUTY. AND IS ALSO PINK WHILE DOING IT. I am pleased. (The graphic at the top is actually a stock image I purchased forever and a day ago--it'll be used for a cover, eventually, too, but it looks so happy up there! :) *pets it*)

- I kind of feel like the father of an about-to-be-born child. Jenn has gone into the bedroom with her laptop, to finish the end of her novella, Seven: A Lesbian Snow White, and I'm out here, in the living room, working on my own writing, hoping its going well for her. :D *fret* *chews nail* This is the first piece of writing she'll have finished in...well...a very long time. And it wasn't easy. And she's worked so hard on it, and it is so fucking brilliant, and I'm so proud of her and so nervous for her, and just...gah! :D *paces* *waits to hear imaginary-baby-of-a-novella cry*

- I'm currently working on a short story for an anthology I was invited to! <3 I went past the deadline, and they were awesome and had already granted me wiggle room if I needed it, and I am FINALLY finishing it up today, and am very happy with it~ I'll talk a little more about it after it's absolute in all ways. :D

- SPEAKING of novels, I should be finished-finished-finished with The Bone Girl tomorrow, ready to send it off to the Women of Lovely Feedback, and then the final edits will be flying, and it should definitely hit its tentative release date (which is slowly shaping up to be a definite release date!) of June 26th! I worked very hard on this novel, but it's been super kind to its author (UNLIKE OTHER NOVELS I COULD NAME), so it was kind of a breeze to get everything down. :) I love the main character, Lutese, love her love interest, Mara (she's so awesome and kick ass~ <3), I love Ozz and Roar and Valienne, and I hope that people are going to enjoy it as much as I did. :) <3 It's a strange little novel--Twixt and Ragged are much more edgy in obvious ways, but The Bone Girl has its own kind of edge to it. The whole basis of the book is how far are you going to go to be true to yourself, and if you have no empathy, what will you do to find it? Lu starts out in the story really caring about no one but herself, and--at the end of the novel--we see a marked shift in her perceptions and empathy. She's fallen in love with an outcast, and she (possibly!) is the bone girl of the prophecies, and the world is dying, and people need help, and she always closed to her eyes to every last bit of other people's suffering...until she can't, anymore. There are elemental spirits, shape-shifting Low, Animal Balls of grandeur and beauty, and a one hundred year dead spell where nothing grows, and Skin Peddlers who steal and buy and sell skins, and a Priest of the Church of the Skinned who doesn't necessarily believe that having your original skin means you're pure (blasphemy!) and a fire and, and... courage. And hope. And love. <3 I can't wait to share it with you!

- After finishing The Bone Girl, I'm turning right back around and finishing The Dream Queen (The graphic novel/web comic of the lesbian Midsummer Night's Dream!), and then I have to typeset the first volume of Sappho's Fables, which so many people are excited about! <3 <3 <3 I'm excited about it, too~ :) Tentative release dates on Seven are THIS WEDNESDAY, OMG!, and then next week Wednesday for the first volume. :D

- Also, this Wednesday, the next Fable Tribe update! <3

- If you haven't noticed, I wanted this to be a post of other! Exciting! Things!, but we don't really have much going on right now besides WRITING FOREVER AND EVER HOORAY. There are a lot of looming deadlines, but we're very excited about all of them, because once the novels and novellas and volumes are out, things can slow down a tiny bit. As you know, we make all of our moolahs from our novels, novellas and short stories and the Fable Tribe, and we work very, very hard to be able to do this. Inhumanly hard, honestly. :) We never take breaks, we put in nineteen hour days OFTEN. NORMALLY. Mortal humans can't live at that speed. Soon, though, we're going to make almost ALL of our monthly budget from books, freeing us up from having to put out a Fable Tribe update every two weeks AND write, AND edit AND... :) And then our lives will ALSO be my FAVORITE WORD: SUSTAINABLE. When all I want to do is write, THAT IS WHAT I SHALL DO. When all I want to do is glue glitter to things, THAT IS WHAT I SHALL DO. And SOME DAYS? SOME DAYS I AM GOING TO FINALLY BE ABLE TO SLEEP IN. :D OH, GLORIOUS SLEEP. *writes an Ode to it* I want so very little from life, and I have everything I need--now, I just need to order it so that I can occasionally take breaks and be a little gentler with myself. :) We're almost there, baby!!! <--PSYCHED

- I got a fan letter that made me cry yesterday. :) It was so heartfelt and vulnerable and beautiful, and I felt so humbled after reading it. I know that some people think that when someone pours out their heart to an author, explaining what their books meant to them, an author might not pay attention or be touched by it, but I promise you: that's not true. We are changed by the love given to our stories, as the stories themselves are changed when they are read with that much love. <3 I had a moment of deep, boundless gratitude for that letter, and I'm never going to forget it.

- ...And that is all the sparkle that is fit to print. <3 <3 <3

I spent all day jurying for the Pullman Memorial Alternative Craft Fair, and am just so ecstatic and grateful for the talent that's taking part in the fair. There are some amazing, amazing local artisans, and--as I knew it would be--putting on a show is very different from just being in one. When you're in a show, the sense of community is strong and vital--everyone wants to help, whether you need a tent stake or you left the tablecloth at home. You make acquaintances, and then--even faster--you make friends. You're surrounded by people who are selling the art of their passion, the crafts of their dreams, and there's this really beautiful sense of ease about it all. It can definitely get stressful if it's an outdoor show, and it rains (am I going to make back the vending fee? Is everyone else going to make back their vending fee?), but even then, it turns into a big joke, because who can control the gods or the weather? Everyone laughs with everyone else, and you make the most of it, because that's what you do, standing around the coffee tent, hands wrapped around warm paper cups, listening to the rain patter on the earth, talking with a friend you didn't know existed before yesterday.

So, when you're building a fair from the ground up, all of the beautiful things you knew as a vendor are magnified. The sense of community is even stronger, because even people who can't participate in the festival are now your acquaintances, and the thing about alternative and indie and art and craft people? They're really fucking nice. They're doing what they dreamed about doing, and that makes them just happy and grateful to be there, centered in themselves, built of the gravity of creation and inspiration. There's nothing else like it in the world. Every time Jenn and I vended at a show or fair or festival, we'd come away from it in awe of that community, that sense of abundance and contentment and joy.

And here and now, we're building it. I'm so humbled and grateful to be leading this project with my incredible wife. I'm making connections and friendships and having moments that are just so fucking splendid. It is hard work--you've gotta keep five-million-bean-bags-in-the-air-at-the-same-time, but you don't really notice how much you're juggling or how fast you're going, because there's this whirlwind of people with you, and it's about buttons and art and paper and string, all creating something new and brilliant and beautiful, and the world opens up, because it needs and wants more art. It's hungry for it. So the universe makes things easier, and the days fly by, and you find yourself spending hours looking at tiny pictures on Etsy and making decisions, and scribbling things down in big notebooks with pink and green gel pens, and drinking your tea and feeling really complete and happy.

Because you're doing something you love doing. And you realize that it's pretty fucking wonderful. And you're just...grateful.

~*~

My novel, The Bone Girl, is coming along beautifully. I write so much, everyday, words, words, words, and I think and I feel and I drink so much tea and I think some more and there's more writing...

Cover art, official blurb and excerpt coming soon. I just wanted to mention that it's being a very good girl to its author, of which I am very grateful. <3 (I AM LOOKING AT YOU, RAGGED.)

~*~

Jenn and I went for a walk last night beneath the grinning sickle moon, and a scattering of glowing, vibrant stars. We talked about our move to Massachusetts, being queer and puppies.

This is my life. <3 <3 <3

I'm so fucking grateful.