SeaHeart

- The Wishes, Comfort and Joy post has turned into something amazing. Courageous people are posting their wishes, and having them answered, and answering one another, and finding new friendships and little miracles in this beautiful season of light. Your kindness, unceasing generosity and compassion have left me in awe, and I am so endlessly blessed to be surrounded by people who are this good, this brilliant. :) If you haven't yet taken part in it, there is a whole lot of sparkle and love, waiting for you there. Hop in~ <3

- I cleaned up my userinfo page and added many new people that I hadn't known friended me yet (I'm an oldschool user--I've had my journal for almost nine years, and it doesn't send me an email when someone has friended me!). Sorry you were waiting so long, and welcome~! :) It'll be nice to get to know you~

- This is all very rushed, because this afternoon, Jenn and I are flying out to Chicago to spend the weekend with part of our soul family--Rachel (songtoisis), Daniel and Graeme. :) I have been looking forward to this trip for months--a bright, glowing set of moments in the normally hectic month that will rejuvenate and fill up my well with love, goodness, happiness and mirth. I have missed Rachel so much, I can't articulate it, and to be able to spend time with her in her new home, celebrating one of the most beautiful seasons nature gives us fills up my heart with joy~ I Can. Not. WAIT!!!! :)

- So, I have this amazing wife. Have I, you know, mentioned her lately? XDDDD I'm kind of ridiculously in love with her, and she's an angel, and her name is Jenn. The other day, we were making gifts at the card table together, and I was doing something tiny and painstaking, and I stopped for a moment to stretch. "You know?" I told her. "I want to tell stories that will change people's lives." It kind of came out of nowhere, this deep memory of what I so badly want to do--we hadn't been talking about it--but she smiled up at me, and said: "you will." I sat back down and looked at the VERY LONG LIST of gifts yet to make, and said sweepingly: "Oh, I can't--not yet! In January it starts back up full time again. Right now, I have gifts to make!" She stopped what she was doing and said, very quietly: "well, this is a gift to the world." Yeah. I cried. ;;;-;;; Gah, I love her...

- So this post is not TOTALLY MushMcMushershon, here is an absolutely adorable picture of My Parrot, otherwise known as Orca, and my incredibly wonderful wife. I'm training Orca how to stand on my shoulder while I walk around--he loves it, and I'm looking witchier every day~ ;D He came trained on how to give DEBILITATINGLY ADORABLE HUGS.

One little compliment can make you feel amazing.

So give me a compliment, anything in the entire world, even that my shoelaces are pretty. If you like, put this in your journal, too--and once you get some comments, put that entry in a memory or tag and when you are feeling down, just go to that entry and this will remind you that you are fabulous and loved. Comments are screened~

Don't forget to post this in your own LJ so I can compliment you, too! :)

~*~

As a side note--I just wanted to publicly rejoice and mention some gratitude. Last night, I was starting to get sick, and I prayed with all my heart, took a bunch of vitamins, used some essential oils and trusted I would get better (I don't have any sick days left, and the next two weeks are filled with constant obligations). I was like: "Goddess, please, please, please--I can do all of this, but I can't if I'm sick. I need some more strength and courage and wellness, oh Mother, please..." And I had the most restful sleep I've had in months and am--this morning--totally well. I am so endlessly grateful--it's a tiny, perfect miracle. <3

I'm still processing everything that happened over this long, impossibly crazy and incredible weekend...my best friend's wedding. Below is the speech I made at the dinner, as the Maid of Honor. I wanted to preserve it here.



Dear Jared,

Today, my best friend became your wife. You know Maddie inside and out, but I carry a few stories in my heart—these treasures. And on this day of days, I wanted to give them to you.

She is grace. She is filled with stories, a limitless ability to believe in dreams—yours, hers. She will be there for you when you can't even be there for yourself. She will believe in you when you can no longer believe. She will sing your story back to you when you have forgotten it. With her by your side—you can't forget it.

If Maddie was a story, she'd be the kind that changes your life. The one that teaches you how good people can be, how generous and kind, how courageous and compassionate. How extraordinary. You would read it a million times, and still find something new, that ridiculous joke, that sideways smile that always preludes trouble, that spell that comes along when you least expect it, teaching you how to believe in magic.

She is precious. My best friend. My soul sister.

Your soul mate.

I wish you every beautiful day, every perfect moment. A happily ever after.

I wanted to let everyone know that I have not exploded into a collection of different iridescences of glitter (though, hell, if I have to go, that would be a fantastic way to do it XD), but that I am knee deep in wading through the last days leading up to my best friend's wedding that I am the maid of honor...for (I have run out of ways to use the English language. Forgive me. XDDDDD). Which sounds like a movie, but I swear is actual real life, too. ;D Tonight is miss Maddie's Bachelorette Party at the Chocolate Bar, and tomorrow is the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and then SATURDAY IS THE SHINING DAY OF WIN AND AWESOME THAT IS ALSO KNOWN AS THE WEDDING. XD

Things I have yet to do:
- Make the bridesmaids' hair flowers (will be accomplished this afternoon)
- Figure out my hair and makeup (will probably wing it with sparkles)
- Come up with a happy/magical blessing for the wedding dinner
- Come up with a happy/magical maid of honor toast/speech
- Help make memories that will last a lifetime~

<333333 I will return to the regularly scheduled postings, emailing-backs and commentings soon, I promise! Thank you so much for understanding~ <3333

(For my own reminder, and a reminded update! The Happy Witchy Sale, barring the Apocalypse, will hopefully be posted on the 23rd! The first update of 100 Glamourkin pendants for the 1000 Glamourkins project will be posted on the 30th! <3)

Today is my birthday--I turn twenty-six.

Here are a few truths about me:

- I know the most amazing, incredible, kind, compassionate, passionate, exceedingly beautiful and magical people that this world possesses. When the Goddess made me, She whispered into my ear: "oh, baby, what a family you'll have..."

- I know great magic. Inside and out, I can see the web of the world, how it's put together, and the splendor in all things. Even in my darkest hours, there are stars. When the Goddess made me, She whispered: "you have everything you need, and someday you'll believe that."

- I'm a good writer, and I believe in myself, and in that. Every year on my birthday I've made a post about hope and writing, and how they're intertwined for me. I decided not to do that this year. I know what I am, and who I am, and it's Storyteller. When the Goddess made me, She said: "Tell the stories you know, and the ones you don't. This gift I have given you, use it wisely."

- I can speak the language of animals, of nature, of the clouds and sea. I am as much a part of the earth as any stone, and that connection is a constant. When the Goddess made me, She said: "you are part of everything, and you will know this, always."

- I have found my soul mate, my twin flame, my anam cara, my everything, and I have the complete blessing to share my life with her. When the Goddess made me, She said: "oh, my darling, you will find her, you will love her, and it will be so beautiful..."

And twenty-six years ago, I opened my eyes to this splendid, wonder-filled and full planet, and I smiled for the very first time, and I thought: thank You, thank You, thank You.

Goddess, I love You, I sing Your song, I sing through You and of You. Thank You for this blessed existence, this life, this everlasting love. Thank You, thank You, thank You.


photo by santacrewsgirl

- The very first fireflies of the year came out last night. I was on the phone with Jen on the back deck, lazily curled up in a chair when I though I saw a star wink at me. I looked up, speechless as, very slowly, the firefly drifted towards me. Fireflies are so special to me, they mean so much joy, so much love and happiness. Writing my personal mythology of fireflies into Twixt makes me endlessly happy, and they show up in my life, just as I'm spinning the web of them into my story? Wow~ I felt so blessed, so joyful. I stepped down from the deck, went and wandered through the backyard, watching them slowly wake up until I was surrounded by stars~ <3

- I'd had plans to do my full moon ritual *after* I talked to Jen, but I had an impromptu epiphany, and asked her if she'd do a ritual with me over the phone. Hey, it's an era of TECHNOLOGY, why the heck not. XDDDD It was amazing, fulfilling, joy-filled~ <3 Jen is an incredible lady and writer and witch, one of my best friends, and being able to share ritual space (even if it was only over a telephone line) was pure magic. What a beautiful blessing, what a bright omen for the summer months to come--hope filled and joy touched. <3 I am so incredibly grateful~

- They say it takes a village to raise a child...well, it takes a village to raise a novel, too. The support, the love, the "YOU CAN DO THIS!s," the offers of help, the offers of reading...maybe it's lessening my own involvement and work in it to admit that without this support and awesomeness from my loved ones, maybe Twixt wouldn't be the book it is--but it's true. Jenn, Maddie, Laura, Jen, Bree and Jacqueline--I admit fully that I could not have woven this together without you, and I love you, and I appreciate you more than I can ever articulate. Everyone else who has been SO supportive and kind and "I can't wait until this gets published!"...I'm overwhelmed by your love and kindness and BELIEF in me and I'm made speechless by it. Thank you, thank you, thank you~ <33333 I can do this. I can DO this.

- Katie and Pete came over for a little dinner party, Tuesday night--it was heaven~ <3 Being able to articulate about stories among people I so vastly love and appreciate--such happiness. The Twilight Rifftrax afterward, was also joy on earth. XD (I've seen this thing literally six or seven times now, the most I've seen any Rifftrax--it never gets old!)

- My excitement for the long weekend knows no bounds~ Gardening, reading, writing, playing with the behbehs and happy outings with my amazing wife...what a beautiful way to ring in summer!!

- I'm meeting Bree for a very long lunch today, because we get out so early~ <33333 And, after I pick Jenn up from work, we get to go meet Maddie and Jared's new kitty-cat, Lando (Catrissian) XDDDDD that they adopted from our shelter~ I remember him and his roly-poly-ness~ I can't wait to "officially" meet our new furry nephew.

- I'm a very visual person, and Tumblr makes me very happy. My blog there, When Ariel Dreams, is filled with images I love, images that inspire me for stories, and images that make my heart sing.

- My wife is this amazingly incredible person, and I fall in love with her deeper every single day. It amazes me, this love.

may my heart always be open to little
birds who are the secrets of living
whatever they sing is better than to know
and if men should not hear them men are old

may my mind stroll about hungry
and fearless and thirsty and supple
and even if it's sunday may i be wrong
for whenever men are right they are not young

and may myself do nothing usefully
and love yourself so more than truly
there's never been quite such a fool who could fail
pulling all the sky over him with one smile

~ e. e. cummings

- In conclusion, I give you ridiculous cuteness:

My life in the past few weeks, in lovely little digestible noms~

<3 I got my Star Girl added to my fairy tale sleeve, FINALLY!



( Her heart was filled with stars )

<3 We picked poppies from a wild field~



<3 I'm working endlessly on editing Twixt. I have this totally unrealistic goal of being finished with edits by my birthday, July 6th. XDDDD Um. We'll see what happens.

<3 We're planning our first annual Midsummer extravaganza, which we're endlessly excited about and covered in glitter for.

<3 All of our fur babies are finally healthy~ I gave baths to Pan and Poesy last night, and told Link he was far too clean and dainty to get one. XD To which I'm sure he agreed. My two little wild muppets are always tangled in something, and their taller and more more esteemed brother is fretting on the sidelines while they chase frogs and find more ways to store grass clippings in their coats. XD

Poesy--practically CLEAN, compared to what usually happens on such outings. XD


<3 We finally have our vegetable garden rotatilled! I'm going to be consecrating the ground on Thursday (the full moon) and planting on Saturday~ My excitement knows no bounds~ <3

<3 I'm surrounded by people who love me and believe in me and my stories and never, ever, ever let me give up. That's pretty incredible, and something I am endlessly and forever grateful for. <3333333

Because there's too much sadness and worry, I'm switching gears. Thank you so much for your prayers and good energies for Solstice...If you could please keep her in your thoughts and prayers, I'd greatly appreciate it...I'm going to try and focus on happy, hopeful things today to help raise her energy--and ours. :) <3 (Jenn didn't get picked for jury duty--so that's one happy thing~)

And, obviously, the Fairie Festival is almost ONE WEEK AWAY!!!

(To those new on my friends list, the Fairie Festival at Spoutwood Farm is the highlight of our year~ It was the first trip that Jenn and I went on when we became a couple, and it was where I proposed to my sweetheart~ The place holds so much magick and mirth and true, deep joy that we look forward to it more than any other time of the year...)

We put a lot of thought and planning into our costumes each year...thank the gods we have so many different costuming pieces, because we're going to try and construct most of our costuming this year from what we already have. I'll have to make a few wings and head pieces and hair falls, but other than that, it's fairy-closet-raiding-time!

Friday
Jenn: Pioneer Fairy
Sarah: Cowgirl Fairy

Jenn came up with this pair, actually...for Yule, I gave her bloomers and a (yet another to add to her collection) bonnet, and she has a vintage prairie dress...so all that needs to be added to this is LOTS OF SPARKLES (please don't ask me where prairie women got their sparkles, I probably don't want to know XD), and wings. All I need to make her wings is a quilt fabric and some time. For myself, I have a cowgirl skirt and hat (which should surprise no one) and a plaid shirt. All I need for myself are wings, which I'm going to make out of bandana fabric...which is the only thing (and time) I need to create them. Also, sparkles. I've been trying to find an old pair of cowboy boots at a thrift store with no luck...I usually go barefoot anyway (I'm immune to poison ivy!).

Saturday
Jenn: Pink Unicorn
Sarah: Purple Bellydancing Unicorn
Everyone (is invited to be in our): Glory of Unicorns

I had the outrageous idea to do a Glamourbomb right in the middle of the festival...lots of fabulous, wonderful people who I know and love are coming this year, and everyone is invited to be a unicorn on Saturday! Let me know if you can't find a horn or don't know how to make one, and I can help you~ A "Glory" is a herd of Unicorns...wouldn't it be fabulous if there were multiple unicorns roaming the festival? ;D Rachel and Kat and Corey are definitely (hopefully? *bats eyelashes*) going to be unicorns...it'll be fabulous together~ I have a beautiful purple flying skirt which I'll layer over black gauchos and purple and black striped high socks, my usual bellydance choli over a purple tank top, lots of purple hair falls and our sturdy purple wings...all I have to do is make the hairfalls and horn and flower encrusted headband. Jenn will be pink, wearing a floofy medieval style skirt and dusty-rose top, with beautiful cellophane wings and her awesome pink wig (with the antennae bent over to form ears). All I need to make for her is the flower and horn encrusted headband. I also need to make Rachel's headband for the excursion~ :D

Sunday
Jenn: Jellyfish Fairy
Sarah: Untamed Woodland Fairy

For years, I've wanted to do a very wild, raw, back-to-nature type fairy, and since that's what I'm invoking this year, I thought it'd be very powerful to aspect that in a costume at the festival. I'm going to need to make an outer skirt (there will be several layers of skirts), but I have the wings--I'll also need to make hair falls in the appropriate color. Now, Jenn's costume is the one I'm probably the most excited about over the weekend. She'll be wearing my Tribal Mermaid fringe belt, I'll make the appropriate color of hair falls (it's a very hair-fall-y kind of year), and then the WINGS. I can not adequately describe our plans for them. You'll just have to wait and see. ;)

So! I realize now, after the emails and private messages that I should have left comments open on my last Fairie Festival post...lots of people had questions, and so many people are coming!! What are your costume plans? Do you have anymore questions? Let's have happy times and discuss~ I can't wait to see you guys!!! ;-; It's going to be the most blissful and wonderful festival yet--and everyone is perfect, so that's saying so much~

Nine days!!!!

I haven't logged into my email all week, and just now I did...thank you so, so much for all of your kind wishes and sympathies and things that made me smile and your love. You're wonderful, and I love you, and all this love can only make the world a better place, right? I believe it so very much~ Thank you.

I'm going to be in Missouri this weekend for Diana's Grove's Women's Spring Equinox with Rachel (songtoisis), something I've been looking forward to for months. That it's coming now, on the heels of everything...well, the universe could not have planned it better, I think. The last time I went to Diana's Grove, the year of my wedding, I was so uncertain of what to expect, but I went with my heart open, excited and expectant and searching. Now, I come to the land with absolutely nothing...no expectations, no hopes or yearnings. I am nothing but a seed right now, at this exact moment, and I'm simply waiting to see what shape the Grove helps me to grow into.

Persephone returns from her time in the Underworld on Saturday, Ostara, the first day of Spring. Together, we will celebrate that return, and we will see how the winter changed us.

I can not begin to articulate how wonderful Diana's Grove is, how beautiful the land is, how very much it touches you to be in consistent sacred space, planning your day around the daily rituals, to be in constant communion with the Goddess in such a tangible way.

Great Momma, thank you for seeing me through these past few weeks. It's been so hard, but You've been there, Goddess, with love and fire and compassion and kindness when I didn't think I could manage. You have so much faith in me and trust in me, and I'm so awed by that, constantly. You have more faith and trust in me than I sometimes have in myself. If You believe, then I certainly must. Thank You for this weekend, thank You for Rachel, thank You for our sisterhood and the amazing space of the Grove and for the incredible friends I've been blessed with. Thank You for my blessings, for my pains, for my courage and my triumphs and my failings. Thank You for every morning, every sunset, every moment that falls through my fingers or that I hold. Thank You for my wife, my rock, my star.

Thank You for vegan cupcakes and ridiculous jokes and the sense of relief that comes after crying.

Thank You.

On my daily calendar, there is the picture of a blonde child, holding a box of treasure. She looks down into it, smiling, as it sparkles in her hands. I feel like that's my message for this day, for every day, for the weekend, for the time in ritual, for the communion and the celebration and the beautiful sabbat of Ostara, almost my favorite: look for the beauty in the tiniest of things. That's always the lesson, the truth, the star to follow. Even in the darkest of days or the deepest of pains, there can be hope.

The world is about to awaken.

And, as always, so am I.

If you're a Witch, you're never done. You will never stop learning or growing or becoming or evolving or changing or transforming or loving or caring or serving or being. There's so much comfort in that. You are never done. We were asked to stop, like Persephone, and look at the flowers behind us, acknowledge what we've accomplished, the people we've touched, the love we've spread. I did. I have. But I also look to all those flowers left unplanted.

Acknowledging that I am a Priestess changed my life in the tiniest and largest of ways. It broke me apart and remade me and showed me the truth of the matter. I want to be love, I want to serve, I want to change things and help and heal and give and grow. I want, more than anything, to be that embodiment of the Goddess here on Earth, to give that love to those who need it...to simply be love. And with those deeper realizations and wants and knowings, I was split apart and remade to hold it all, it seems.

The circle comes round again, back to the beginning.

And it always begins with seeds.

~*~

Oh yes, it's true then that life is good,
and I've learned the lesson it can teach:

To know the daylight you must know dark,
to know the flowers you must know weeds;
you cannot meet again unless you part,
or eat a pomegranate without seeds.

~ from "Demeter's Daughter" by Anne Lister