Throughout the month, I create on a very lunar schedule. It shifts throughout the year--sometimes, near the full moon, sometimes near the new moon, I'm filled with ideas and I must create or I'll burst, and it's not just one medium. I make Glamourkins in my sleep, write so many thousands of words each day that my hands ache and ache, and I scribble down more story ideas than my brain can hold. And then, like a natural ebb, the creative, passionate surge dies down gently, slowly, and I incubate and nurture myself and stay very still and quiet, listening to the hum of the Goddess and the Universe, listening, listening...waiting. And it begins again.

This month, we begin the waxing moon today, and the surge is intense. There is no room in my brain for all of the things I want to do/make/create/bring-to-life, so I settle for scribbling and making and writing, and my hands ache and ache, and my heart is so full and joyous, and I do not believe I could live any other way but this one, creating, creating, on fire, passionate, jubilant.

I'm working on a few novellas and novels right now, but the one I'm most excited to start (after I finish with Crumbs, the flagship of our Sappho's Fables series), is Silvered (arguably, I'm most excited about this. I'm also working on the sequel to One Solstice Night WHICH IS SO SPARKLY and makes me have little shivers of delight. JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE IT, JUST WAIT), and I'm setting in on Sapphira, the same world that One Solstice Night and Cage the Darlings is on, and it centers around this group of courageous women that I'm just so excited to share, and it involves SO MANY SWASHBUCKLING THEME SONGS, and I can't really articulate it until it's all written, but all I can think about ever, all the time is ladies falling in love with other ladies and having the most ridiculous, wonderful adventures, and, and...

I'm so fucking grateful that people want these stories, and that they're excited about these stories, I have no words. I have a purpose to my writing, I have a reason, I have a passion, I have a set calling. It's marvelous and amazing, all rolled up into one, when I think that a few years ago, I was so upset and so unhappy because I was writing my little lesbian books and thinking to myself "no one in the world is going to want these because they're gay."

We've come a fucking long way, baby.

I was born at the perfect time to be able to bring my stories to a world where people wanted them, and wanted them fiercely. I know how lucky I am, and though I've worked tirelessly and endlessly to end up here, now, I also understand all of the beautiful synchronicities that brought me here, all of the moments that the Goddess pushed me gently (sometimes! Hah!) in the right direction, helped me figure out what I needed to do. So much faith has been put into these endeavors, an equal dose of courage, but also an equal dose of closing my eyes and leaping, hoping, hoping, hoping gravity wouldn't catch me.

This past year of the publishing process has been an extraordinary time for me. Everything has moved at lightning speeds, I have been in a vortex of creative magic and mojo for so long, I don't know what not being in it feels like, and I can't imagine ever not being in it again.

I just keep coming back to gratitude. Gratitude for the people who supported (and support) me endlessly, in all endeavors, who tell me that I can do it, who remind me what I'm capable of when I'm in a muck of disbelief in myself. Gratitude for the people who clamor for my stories, the fans who write me telling how much I've touched them, how much they love my stories, the people who are so endlessly supportive in spreading the word.

This has been a year of courage and faith, but it has also been a year of community. Never before have I been so aware of how connected we all are, how precious that connection is, those friendships, that creation of Family.

Over a year ago, I decided to do something crazy. I decided to publish a lesbian, YA book by myself. But it was never by "myself." Jenn edited every word and listened and aided and was divine in every sense of that word, every single friend told other friends and other friends or shouted it from the rooftops that I was doing this, bought copies, spread the word ceaselessly. I have met new people in this year who have proved to be amazing, I have made connections in this year that have spread beyond anything I'd ever dreamed.

My stories were born and came into this world and were accepted and loved not in spite of what they were but because of what they were.

I can't believe I'm here, I'm now.

I'm so fucking grateful for everything. And for YOU, my beloved lords and ladies. <3 <3 <3

In gratitude, I take each step.

2012 is going to change everything. Just like 2011 did.

And there is a whole world of support and amazing beauty and love and connection and community and friendship and family, and I have never been more grateful, and I learn, each new day, how to reach for even more gratitude, ever expanding, ever spiraling outward, this world of possibility that is, all at once, brilliant, beautiful, whole.

It's dark out. The sun trips across the sky for only a few hours every day. The earth doesn't know what it wants to do, is half cold, half warm, thoroughly confused. It is past the Solstice, and yet we have not had snow. I hear the reports that in 1889 in Buffalo, they didn't get any snow in December, too. I wonder if they worried about the end of the world, if 1900 would bring about Armageddon, or if they were just really grateful that they didn't have to put on eighteen layers of coats and mufflers to go pee.

On the Winter Solstice, I performed my first ever Unitarian service. More people came to that service than the last three combined, curious to see what I was capable of...and they said they loved it. They warmed my heart with their joy for it, they made me feel like I had done what was needed, and they affirmed that little push in my heart that's been pushing for months. I'll...tell you about it later. <3

Afterward, we were taken out to dinner, we gave Bill his present...he shed and wiped away a single tear, and his voice shook when he thanked us. I cried when he gave us our present--my voice shook, too. Sometimes, the earth turns and magnificent things happen, and you meet the people you were meant to. And you can never predict exactly when that will be, or how long you have with them. So you're simply grateful.

I keep thinking about the people who changed my life, and the people I love. 'Tis the season for it. I keep thinking about my little goddess daughter, sending her love and light every day. I keep thinking about the women and men and boys and girls that fill my heart, and it is full, so full it might burst, and I really don't have words to convey the gratitude for the card with the sparkling glitter and heartfelt message, and the little package I retrieved from the mailbox on the worst day of the year that reminded me that I was loved, or how my wife wrapped me so close and tight beneath the Solstice tree, and how my kid sister gave me something I've been wanting since I was fourteen years old, her eyes twinkling, and how I got a phone call because "I was thinking about you, and I love you." Even in the season of darkness, of cold, of gestation and waiting and sleep, we remember one another, we reach out with warm hands to hold one another in the cold, dying light.

That's family. That's love. That's the holidays.

I'm so filled with gratitude, it's hard to articulate here. There are little things I'm grateful for: with the money we got from the holidays, and my royalties, I was able to pay off a little credit card. We haven't been able to make any headway on the cards in about nine or so months, and it was fucking exhilarating to write that check. (Normal people don't get this excited about paying off a credit card, I'm sure. ;D) We have a long way to go, but I feel hopeful about it again. My depression is--knock on every piece of wood in the world--gone. We are closing Glamourkin in a few days, and the coming creation that has been held secret is ready to burst through the doors, and Jenn and I are so filled with excitement and plans and lists and lists that we don't know how we're going to contain it until opening day. We've been to so many UU services these past few weeks, multiple services a week, but we still managed to--in the middle of Pennsylvania on the drive back up to NY on Christmas day--find one at a Pittsburgh church, randomly, and go. The pastor was so funny--he read one of my favorite stories, "The Gift of the Magi," and the sermon made me cry. <3 No matter where you are or who you are or when you go, any UU church welcomes you, a stranger, with smiling people, huge hugs, talk and coffee. It's one of the most comforting things in the world, knowing that. (And my hobby of visiting different UU churches when we travel grows by one more, putting us at...twelve, I think? I want to start a blog about it. ;D *laughing*)

The year opens up, a bright shining star of possibility. And we wait, hearts warm, hands clasped...together. <3

~*~

Below is the Winter Solstice Ceremony that I wrote for the Pullman Church--I'm sharing it here so people can read it if they wish (or, heck, you could do the meditation part, if the spirit moved you). <3 It is "Pagan lite," as this was the first service that ever introduced Pagan concepts to the church--as the months progress, I will be introducing more and more Pagan ideas, rituals, concepts to the congregation.

Lee (our pastor), Laura (my kid sister, who graciously sang for us <3) and Jenn all had parts, which I've included below.

I hope you enjoy. <3


image by uberfischer

( The Winter Solstice Ceremony at Pullman Memorial Universalist Church, 2011~ )

This is the last time you'll see me before I get legally married.

In a matter of hours, some of my most favorite people in this entire world, my soul family, begins to trickle in to the western New York area from all parts of the country. There will be embraces and laughter and tears and glitter BAMs and love, love, love, love, love.

I am so overflowing with gratitude and joy and sparkle, I have no idea what to do with myself.

My beautiful, amazing, perfect, wondrous, sparkly bride and I will legally be married in two days.

SPARKLE WEDDING. TWO DAYS.

<333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

In celebration of Maddie (lathriel)'s new release, there's a new blog post up on Muse Rising: On Robot Ponies and Indie Publishing: An Interview with Author Madeline Claire Franklin~!



Madeline Claire Franklin is a feisty lady. The debut author of the exquisite original fairy tale novel, The Poppet and the Lune, you can find her most days at a coffee shop, surrounded by cups of espresso and notes for her upcoming release, The Hierophant. Maddie is my best friend, and--together--we released our first books on the same day back in May--May 17th, Maddie's birthday~ <3

I've known Maddie for many years, and have always been both humbled and inspired by her drive and passion surrounding the soul of Story. Today, she released a new short story entitled "Robot Pony," one that I fell completely and madly in love with. Here to celebrate that release, and to talk a little about indie publishing, the creative process, and robotic toys is an interview with Madeline Claire Franklin!

... Continue reading~

Since we are faeries at heart, Jenn and I have been going to the Spoutwood Fairie Festival since 2004 (in 2004, after the first day at the festival together, I proposed to Jenn there--seven years ago Sunday!). It is the happiest, most magical time of our year, and we look forward to it more than I could ever say~ :) I recommend it to EVERY single person who has even a pinch of magic in their hearts. It is the most community driven, joy filled event in the world--it is a dream come true~ <3 (You can go back through my Fairie Festival tag and see our story of the festival through our years there~ <3333)

The 20th annual May Day Spoutwood Fairie Festival is this weekend--come out and have a fabulous, magical time! If you're going to be there, we'd love to meet you! <3 :) Please tell me here in the comments if you think you're coming,--and, if'n ye feel like it, introduce yourself to others who are coming, too, in the comments! :) <333

I am so blessed in the fact that so many people of my soul and heart families will be there this year. Sharing my most sacred space, the festival, with them is one of the most beautiful and wonderful things I've ever experienced. I am blessed beyond words at the magical, joy-and-love-filled weekend that awaits me--I have no words for my gratitude or my ecstaticness~ <3333333

Us, last year~


The 20th annual May Day Spoutwood Fairie Festival!

The May Day Fairie Festival is the brainchild of Rob and Lucy Wood, owners of Spoutwood Farm, an organic farm in the Community Supported Agriculture movement. It began as a party for about 100 friends, and has been celebrated by 16,000 “friends” of the little people from the local area, all across the US and across the Atlantic. Previously a one-day festival, a second and third day were added as a response to the festival’s rising popularity.

Me and a baby water fairy in 2004~


Once again, the festival will celebrate the beginning of spring and all of the nature spirits return to the warm world with 70 arts and crafts vendors (mostly featuring handmade art inspired by the little people), performances by musicians and dancers, storytellers, participatory maypole dancing, fairie craft activities such as wand and garland making (involves a small fee), food vendors, fairie and other nature spirit environments to explore, a Nature Place offering a place for environmental, health, animal interest and other groups to share their vision, fairie and gnome habitat tours, fairie tea parties, guest appearances by the Green Man, the Mossmen, Sweet Pea and others.

Jenn, 2009~


The fairie and May Day themes go back to ancient times in almost all cultures, especially to the Celts of the British Isles who had a festival on the first of May called Beltane. It was a time of great rejoicing at the return of the earth's abundance in spring and the impending bounty of summer. The Celts celebrated the spirits of nature by honoring not only the plants that they could see and smell but also the unseen beings of the fairie realm.

When: April 29th from 12:00 PM to 7:00 PM, and April 30th and May 1st from 10:00 AM to 6:00 PM each day

Where: Spoutwood Farm Center 4255 Pierceville Rd Glen Rock PA 17327 717-235-6610

Admission: Admission is $15 for people over 12, $5 for people 12 and under, and free for those 2 and under. A three-day pass is available for a reduced price of $30...the three day pass can also be used to get through the gates quicker, even if you are only using it for two of the days. Those who decide to volunteer when they arrive at the festival can request a 2-hour job assignment; upon completion, the admission fee will be refunded.

Us, 2008~


About Spoutwood Farm: Nestled in the rolling landscape of York County is Spoutwood Farm - a family owned farm and part of the Community Supported Agriculture program, supports more than 100 families with organically grown food throughout the year. Spoutwood Farm supports sustainable living practices and offers workshops and classes in streamside ecology, mead making, medicinal herbalism and more. Spoutwood is a 501©(3) non-profit organization.



Kubiando is a Way of Living

Knowing that the Universe supports you
Understanding Life’s Lessons along the way
Believe in Yourself
Invent new ways of being and be an Inspiration
Always do your Best
Never, never, never, give up
Divine guidance surrounds you
One Love, One Circle of Life

(From Kubiando.com~)

I hope to see you there~ <3 <3 <3

One little compliment can make you feel amazing.

So give me a compliment, anything in the entire world, even that my shoelaces are pretty. If you like, put this in your journal, too--and once you get some comments, put that entry in a memory or tag and when you are feeling down, just go to that entry and this will remind you that you are fabulous and loved. Comments are screened~

Don't forget to post this in your own LJ so I can compliment you, too! :)

~*~

As a side note--I just wanted to publicly rejoice and mention some gratitude. Last night, I was starting to get sick, and I prayed with all my heart, took a bunch of vitamins, used some essential oils and trusted I would get better (I don't have any sick days left, and the next two weeks are filled with constant obligations). I was like: "Goddess, please, please, please--I can do all of this, but I can't if I'm sick. I need some more strength and courage and wellness, oh Mother, please..." And I had the most restful sleep I've had in months and am--this morning--totally well. I am so endlessly grateful--it's a tiny, perfect miracle. <3

I wanted to let everyone know that I have not exploded into a collection of different iridescences of glitter (though, hell, if I have to go, that would be a fantastic way to do it XD), but that I am knee deep in wading through the last days leading up to my best friend's wedding that I am the maid of honor...for (I have run out of ways to use the English language. Forgive me. XDDDDD). Which sounds like a movie, but I swear is actual real life, too. ;D Tonight is miss Maddie's Bachelorette Party at the Chocolate Bar, and tomorrow is the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and then SATURDAY IS THE SHINING DAY OF WIN AND AWESOME THAT IS ALSO KNOWN AS THE WEDDING. XD

Things I have yet to do:
- Make the bridesmaids' hair flowers (will be accomplished this afternoon)
- Figure out my hair and makeup (will probably wing it with sparkles)
- Come up with a happy/magical blessing for the wedding dinner
- Come up with a happy/magical maid of honor toast/speech
- Help make memories that will last a lifetime~

<333333 I will return to the regularly scheduled postings, emailing-backs and commentings soon, I promise! Thank you so much for understanding~ <3333

(For my own reminder, and a reminded update! The Happy Witchy Sale, barring the Apocalypse, will hopefully be posted on the 23rd! The first update of 100 Glamourkin pendants for the 1000 Glamourkins project will be posted on the 30th! <3)

- The very first fireflies of the year came out last night. I was on the phone with Jen on the back deck, lazily curled up in a chair when I though I saw a star wink at me. I looked up, speechless as, very slowly, the firefly drifted towards me. Fireflies are so special to me, they mean so much joy, so much love and happiness. Writing my personal mythology of fireflies into Twixt makes me endlessly happy, and they show up in my life, just as I'm spinning the web of them into my story? Wow~ I felt so blessed, so joyful. I stepped down from the deck, went and wandered through the backyard, watching them slowly wake up until I was surrounded by stars~ <3

- I'd had plans to do my full moon ritual *after* I talked to Jen, but I had an impromptu epiphany, and asked her if she'd do a ritual with me over the phone. Hey, it's an era of TECHNOLOGY, why the heck not. XDDDD It was amazing, fulfilling, joy-filled~ <3 Jen is an incredible lady and writer and witch, one of my best friends, and being able to share ritual space (even if it was only over a telephone line) was pure magic. What a beautiful blessing, what a bright omen for the summer months to come--hope filled and joy touched. <3 I am so incredibly grateful~

- They say it takes a village to raise a child...well, it takes a village to raise a novel, too. The support, the love, the "YOU CAN DO THIS!s," the offers of help, the offers of reading...maybe it's lessening my own involvement and work in it to admit that without this support and awesomeness from my loved ones, maybe Twixt wouldn't be the book it is--but it's true. Jenn, Maddie, Laura, Jen, Bree and Jacqueline--I admit fully that I could not have woven this together without you, and I love you, and I appreciate you more than I can ever articulate. Everyone else who has been SO supportive and kind and "I can't wait until this gets published!"...I'm overwhelmed by your love and kindness and BELIEF in me and I'm made speechless by it. Thank you, thank you, thank you~ <33333 I can do this. I can DO this.

- Katie and Pete came over for a little dinner party, Tuesday night--it was heaven~ <3 Being able to articulate about stories among people I so vastly love and appreciate--such happiness. The Twilight Rifftrax afterward, was also joy on earth. XD (I've seen this thing literally six or seven times now, the most I've seen any Rifftrax--it never gets old!)

- My excitement for the long weekend knows no bounds~ Gardening, reading, writing, playing with the behbehs and happy outings with my amazing wife...what a beautiful way to ring in summer!!

- I'm meeting Bree for a very long lunch today, because we get out so early~ <33333 And, after I pick Jenn up from work, we get to go meet Maddie and Jared's new kitty-cat, Lando (Catrissian) XDDDDD that they adopted from our shelter~ I remember him and his roly-poly-ness~ I can't wait to "officially" meet our new furry nephew.

- I'm a very visual person, and Tumblr makes me very happy. My blog there, When Ariel Dreams, is filled with images I love, images that inspire me for stories, and images that make my heart sing.

- My wife is this amazingly incredible person, and I fall in love with her deeper every single day. It amazes me, this love.

may my heart always be open to little
birds who are the secrets of living
whatever they sing is better than to know
and if men should not hear them men are old

may my mind stroll about hungry
and fearless and thirsty and supple
and even if it's sunday may i be wrong
for whenever men are right they are not young

and may myself do nothing usefully
and love yourself so more than truly
there's never been quite such a fool who could fail
pulling all the sky over him with one smile

~ e. e. cummings

- In conclusion, I give you ridiculous cuteness:

I haven't logged into my email all week, and just now I did...thank you so, so much for all of your kind wishes and sympathies and things that made me smile and your love. You're wonderful, and I love you, and all this love can only make the world a better place, right? I believe it so very much~ Thank you.

I'm going to be in Missouri this weekend for Diana's Grove's Women's Spring Equinox with Rachel (songtoisis), something I've been looking forward to for months. That it's coming now, on the heels of everything...well, the universe could not have planned it better, I think. The last time I went to Diana's Grove, the year of my wedding, I was so uncertain of what to expect, but I went with my heart open, excited and expectant and searching. Now, I come to the land with absolutely nothing...no expectations, no hopes or yearnings. I am nothing but a seed right now, at this exact moment, and I'm simply waiting to see what shape the Grove helps me to grow into.

Persephone returns from her time in the Underworld on Saturday, Ostara, the first day of Spring. Together, we will celebrate that return, and we will see how the winter changed us.

I can not begin to articulate how wonderful Diana's Grove is, how beautiful the land is, how very much it touches you to be in consistent sacred space, planning your day around the daily rituals, to be in constant communion with the Goddess in such a tangible way.

Great Momma, thank you for seeing me through these past few weeks. It's been so hard, but You've been there, Goddess, with love and fire and compassion and kindness when I didn't think I could manage. You have so much faith in me and trust in me, and I'm so awed by that, constantly. You have more faith and trust in me than I sometimes have in myself. If You believe, then I certainly must. Thank You for this weekend, thank You for Rachel, thank You for our sisterhood and the amazing space of the Grove and for the incredible friends I've been blessed with. Thank You for my blessings, for my pains, for my courage and my triumphs and my failings. Thank You for every morning, every sunset, every moment that falls through my fingers or that I hold. Thank You for my wife, my rock, my star.

Thank You for vegan cupcakes and ridiculous jokes and the sense of relief that comes after crying.

Thank You.

On my daily calendar, there is the picture of a blonde child, holding a box of treasure. She looks down into it, smiling, as it sparkles in her hands. I feel like that's my message for this day, for every day, for the weekend, for the time in ritual, for the communion and the celebration and the beautiful sabbat of Ostara, almost my favorite: look for the beauty in the tiniest of things. That's always the lesson, the truth, the star to follow. Even in the darkest of days or the deepest of pains, there can be hope.

The world is about to awaken.

And, as always, so am I.

If you're a Witch, you're never done. You will never stop learning or growing or becoming or evolving or changing or transforming or loving or caring or serving or being. There's so much comfort in that. You are never done. We were asked to stop, like Persephone, and look at the flowers behind us, acknowledge what we've accomplished, the people we've touched, the love we've spread. I did. I have. But I also look to all those flowers left unplanted.

Acknowledging that I am a Priestess changed my life in the tiniest and largest of ways. It broke me apart and remade me and showed me the truth of the matter. I want to be love, I want to serve, I want to change things and help and heal and give and grow. I want, more than anything, to be that embodiment of the Goddess here on Earth, to give that love to those who need it...to simply be love. And with those deeper realizations and wants and knowings, I was split apart and remade to hold it all, it seems.

The circle comes round again, back to the beginning.

And it always begins with seeds.

~*~

Oh yes, it's true then that life is good,
and I've learned the lesson it can teach:

To know the daylight you must know dark,
to know the flowers you must know weeds;
you cannot meet again unless you part,
or eat a pomegranate without seeds.

~ from "Demeter's Daughter" by Anne Lister