Entries tagged with jenn and me

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A Million Sacred Things

My Pentacle, on the Mother Tree in Salem, MA. <3

This past week, we celebrated our first year (and fifth!) wedding anniversary by journeying to New England. That handful of days, the moments of pure, intense magic and the riot of blazing colors nature gave us, in abundance, was a gift I'll cherish my entire life. It was the first time visiting New Hampshire, Maine and Vermont (that I remember--I went to these places when I was a year old, and less, but obviously that's not been kept in my brain ;D), and after a lifelong OBSESSION with them, getting to actually go was a dream come true.

Old Bennington Cemetery in Vermont.

We returned to peak leaves in New York state, too...so everything, for the past eight days, has been a treasure in my eyes. When I blink, I see rich colors, when I dream, I dream of palaces built of trees crowned with gold. My favorite season has unfolded itself in a savoring, beautiful explosion of sacred moments, and I've simply been soaking them up as each new one presents itself to me.

I'm going to post more in detail about everything--I have to go finish wirewrapping the Glamourkins for tomorrow's update--but I just wanted to share my many mixed emotions. I feel loved and held and homesick and sad and happy and just...indescribable, really.

Maddie's Yule gift to me last year was a tattoo that we both had spoken of getting for years and years. A quill. It's taken this long for all of our schedules to come together, but we're finally getting them this Saturday. I've had the design idea in my head forever, and yesterday, after we got home in the wee hours of the morning, I sent everything to my tattoo artist. This morning, I received the sketch and stared at the laptop screen, breathless. My heart stopped beating.

All of my stories come from Her, so I needed the Goddess in the quill. And She's there in ways I never could have imagined. Just like in my life. Just like in my heart.

And, on Saturday in the magic season, She comes out--again--upon my skin forever.

Current Mood: optimistic

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Purple Sabbath

Jenn and I have worked every single day, non-stop, inhuman hours, for months with no *definite* end in sight. No human being can do this. We were at a lodge in the mountains with Jenn's parents this past weekend--which was wonderful, but we had to spend the entire vacation working (though there were still wonderful moments, it would have been NICE and RELAXING if we'd treated the vacation LIKE A VACATION). I've been re-reading one of my favorite childhood series, "The Rocky Ridge Series," (it's also sometimes known as "The Rose Years"--a series of books written by Roger MacBride, Rose Wilder's adopted grandson. Rose Wilder was, of course, Laura Ingalls Wilder's daughter.), and I brought the books down with me to read in tiny snatches of moments. I had a lot of epiphanies, strangely enough, re-reading one of my ultimate comfort books for the 1,243,567 time, but one of them was this:

The books chronicle some incredibly hard times, but no matter what, if there was imminent blizzard, or if you didn't gather enough food DEATH may be a possibility, or if there was a raging FIRE, they always, always, always had a day of rest. Even when they were in their covered wagon. A particular line struck me...that even the horses needed a day of rest, because even animals deserve a tiny amount of time to recoup during the week.

Okay. That above paragraph may sound like the most obvious thing in the known universe. But it was like a punch to the gut to me. It has been very, very, very hard these past few months. There have been amazing and wonderful moments, but it's been difficult. We've not given ourselves any amount of freedom or time, because we've felt we didn't have the "luxury" of spending one second away from our work. What this results in is when we take small vacations, we spend the entire time ill or sick, because we've worked ourselves into the ground more than pit ponies (WHY IS SARAH USING ALL OF THE EQUINE METAPHORS).

So I thought about this for a few days, and on the drive back up from the lodge, Jenn and I talked about it. And we were like: yes. We need a day of rest.

This week is one of the most hectic in my life. There's a novel deadline for REASONS on Friday, and I have worked non-stop on this for book for two months (plus more time, but NON-STOP, TWELVE HOURS A DAY for two months). We'd decided, on our drive up, that Wednesday would be what we jokingly referred to as the "Purple Sabbath" of our week.

But...this Wednesday? I was worried about it. Shouldn't I take the entire day and pour over things again? Won't I have to stay up super late on Thursday and Friday to get this done, when I've already been doing this?

And we both decided: you know what? There's ALWAYS GOING TO BE SOMETHING. The Purple Sabbath needs to be as fucking non-negotiable as the tides and the moon phases. Because if it is NOT non-negotiable, we will always, always, always work, instead of rest.

And we need. To. Rest.

So. This is the first Purple Sabbath. I'm sitting in bed writing this post, next to Jenn, who's ALSO writing a post (THE MOST SHOCKING THING SINCE TIME BEGAN, TWO POSTS FROM US ;D). I'm a little happily overwhelmed, in the best of possible ways, with what we could do with this day. The only plan is FINALLY getting to go see this movie tonight at our local crazy-cheap-adorable theater. I also want to head to one of our favorite parks, but in all seriousness, I have ten books on my bedside table that have been giving me sultry eyes every moment of every day, and WHO KNOWS, MAYBE WE WILL STAY IN BED AND READ.

I don't know. But that not knowing is like...the most glorious thing ever.

I was telling Jenn last night: it is a LITTLE SAD when we are overjoyed to the point of TEARS for a SINGLE DAY in which we are allowed to READ AND GO FOR WALKS. But we don't really require all that much in life. A beautiful fall day, spent relaxing with my wife...paradise, in physicality. <3

FURTHER ADVENTURES OF THE SELF EMPLOYED. ;D LESSON SEVEN HUNDRED AND MILLION: SOMETIMES, YOU NEED TO FUCKING REST.

<3 THE END. <3

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On Project Unicorn

Jenn and I dialogued at Muse Rising: Why Lesbian YA Stories Are Important: A Dialogue on Project Unicorn by Its Authors. <3 Project Unicorn unches tomorrow!

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Updatey Type Things!

- While I'm getting ready to post the Fable Tribe update, Jenn is doing something we've been trying to get set up for months: she's posting the first update in our vintage Etsy shop, A Clover and A Bee! <3 It's going to be filled with 80s paper ephemera, toys and antiques--the first update is from Jenn's childhood and teenaged sticker collection, and it's filled with utterly adorable stuff. Take a peek! <3

ACloverAndABee.Etsy.com

- We spent the weekend down with Jenn's parents, celebrating the annual Cancerian Birthday Party (I'm a Cancer, and so are both of Jenn's parents. <3). It was awesome and wonderful, though came right on the heels of another incredibly-almost-catastrophic health related issue concerning her dad. :/ So it was really wonderful to see him okay.

- The Bone Girl is being released August 28th, my first anthology Love Devours is going to be released earlier in the coming month, and Project Unicorn is starting to get a lot of press and notice and OMG EXCITEMENT, WHOAH did people want this. :D I had hoped, but really, the amount of support has been absolutely staggering. <3 So that launches not next week, but the week after it. Holy crap, you guys, it's going to be INTENSE. I love the Project Unicorn themes, but one of my FAVORITE ones is for this first month, "The Dark Woods." It also somewhat ties in to what I'm wrapping up with Love Devours, and what I've been working on with Follow the Wolf, which is part of Sappho's Fables (it's the "Little Red Riding Hood" retelling). So, in short, not surprisingly, and--as always--we're knee deep in stories and words, and there are so many exciting, shiny things coming. <3 Viva la story! <3

- Jenn and I are heading on our yearly pilgrimage to Salem/Gloucester/Rockport in two days. <3 This year, as many things in our lives have, our trip has changed. This is the first time that Jenn and I are going by ourselves (Maddie's going a week after, with her mum! <3), so there's a real feel of second-honeymoon-ness going on. <3 Also, we wanted to have the most inexpensive vacation known to mankind, so we're not staying at a m/hotel. We're camping at Winter Island in our GLORIOUS! PALATIAL! SPARKLE-TENT! We're so hella excited about camping there, words escape me. Every year, we experience the place more and more like the locals do (our hearts belong there, after all!), but this year, we're diving even deeper in that. We're not going to use the car at ALL while we're there, instead simply walking, and taking the train where applicable. We're going to spend hours and hours in coffee shops as we outline our upcoming novels, discussing stories together. We're going to spend hours and hours and hours on the beach at the campground, cavorting in the water like the mermaids we are...it's going to be an easy, relaxing vacation with absolutely nothing to do but spend time with each other, create, and be in love. <3 <3 <3 I'm over the moon. I think this trip is going to change our lives. I have a feeling.

- That's where my mind is. Stories, and going home to the most precious place in the world, to us. Being together, exploring some of our favorite haunts, inventing new trails, being embraced by the perfect blue waves. <3 Finally, going home as a free woman--it holds more meaning than I can describe, that. <3

Current Mood: satisfied

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We Came, We Saw, We Sparkled: Marching in the 2012 Rochester, NY Pride Parade! <3

Today we woke up early, finished up all of our chores, made SIGNS OUT OF RAINBOWS, and then we were READY. For today was the ending of the week-long celebration in Rochester, NY: Pride 2012, ending in the culmination of the Pride parade and festival. And we were marching in the parade!

You have a fair understanding of how much we love and are obsessed with our church, Pullman Memorial Universalist. As married lesbians in an extremely rural community, being able to have a place that we can go, once a week, and be completely ourselves without any fear of repercussion or violence--and not only no FEAR, but the joy of knowing that you're loved by a family that embraces you in every aspect, cares about you so deeply, and is so intensely supportive of you? Yeah, it's one of the most amazing, cherished things in our world. So, when we found out that our church was marching with the contingency of Unitarian Universalist churches from Rochester and the surrounding areas, we were so excited to take part. <3 EXCITED MIGHT BE AN UNDERSTATEMENT, ACTUALLY.

Jenn and I wanted to dress as Pride Fairies, so I got my tutu out, our wedding wings, AND AS MANY RAINBOWS AS ONE PERSON CAN FEASIBLY WEAR. AND THEN ONE MORE, JUST TO MAKE IT GAYER. And GLITTER! THERE WAS A LOT OF GLITTER.

LOOK AT US. WE ARE SO HOT. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, WE WOULD BECOME HOTTER. PROBABLY WE WOULD NOT BECOME GAYER. WE ARE ALREADY PRETTY GAY.

( MORE RAINBOWS and the CONTINUATION of the Story of PRIDE... )

And lo, afterward, we gotteth Pistachio Rose vegan cupcakes as our PRIDE! TREAT! from our favorite vegan deli, and fainted, verily, upon ingestion of them BECAUSE THEY WERE SO DAMN GOOD, thus bringing a SATISFYING and SPARKLY ENDING to our SATISFYING and SPARKLY day. <3

The End. <3

Current Mood: good

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My Little Lesbian sings

Home from Pride! <3 Exhausted, but so, so happy—we had such an amazing time—I shall post the sparkly bits later!

But I had to show you guys this now! I got the bestest shirt in the entire UNIVERSE there. FIRSTLY, it is the cutest, cleverest pun EVER. Lez-bo(w)! <3 I am madly in love with it. <3

SECONDLY, it looks like SAILOR MOON TIMES. :D *hearts and rainbow sparkles forever!*

Current Mood: enthralled
Current Music: Tori Amos -- The Beekeeper

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I Have No Need for a Savior...

(Originally posted at the Sorcery of Love~)

My wife, author Jennifer Diemer's, novella Seven, the third novella of our Sappho's Fables (Lesbian Fairy Tales!) series, is released today! Seven is a lesbian version of Snow White~ <3 (And is BEAUTIFUL. <3)

The strange witch girl Neve has skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and a dark secret. Her father Lexander, an alchemist, harbors an evil obsession, and Catalina, his newest bride, made the grave mistake of becoming his wife. When Catalina finds herself falling in love with his daughter, Neve, instead, the deepening bond between the women sets in motion the final chapter of a story that began long ago, with a desperate longing and a handful of apple seeds. Together, Neve and Catalina must venture into the Huntsman's haunted forest to undo what has been done and set themselves free.

Available for purchase from:
Amazon (Kindle)
Barnes and Noble (Nook) (Coming soon!)
Smashwords (All other eReaders/Online Reading)

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Gotye -- Hearts a Mess

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"Let me occupy your mind as you do mine." -- Or, on SEVEN

Two days after I told Jenn "I love you" for the first time, a thick envelope arrived in the mail. It was about five or six printed-out, neatly-folded pages of a novel she was working on, entitled White. It was intoxicating. Across the space and divide between us, words spanned and had begun to build a bridge. Through fiction, through poetry and music, two women who were many miles apart shared in a connection that was otherworldly. Our love began with stories, seeds planted from our heads and hearts that grew, invited, entwining across the space and divide to spiral our spirits together verdantly.

I read White laying on my stomach on my bed, the snow outside silent and hushed as I read over and over the pages of a novel that had bewitched me utterly. The tracker girl, Kyle, the mad-man and the castle and the quiet girl in search of a beast, and love growing between the girl who bore secrets and the girl who was skilled in finding them. It was weird. It was intense. It was fucking beautiful.

It was also never finished. And it broke my heart. Every day, I keep my unwavering hope and faith that someday, somehow, I will get to read that novel.

Jenn went to college for writing, and graduated with top honors, with accolades and whispered mentions of how great she had become, how much she would be able to accomplish with her fiction. And, after that, she stopped writing. There are many reasons, and it's heartbreaking, because for years and years, my wife wrote not a word.

Writers can not be forced, begged, cajoled or asked to change their writer's block or writing habits. They must choose when they decide, if they have been blocked, to pick up the pen or the laptop again. But I held the space for her, of how deeply I loved her writing, how it was a crime to humanity that she'd stopped, and how I hoped with every last part of my heart, that she would write again.

And then, Sappho's Fables came along. The only writing she'd done in this time was the old lesbian fairy tales we'd done together, and when we started talking about redoing them as a novella series...she was excited. I was ecstatic.

And so it went.

The first volume, I had two novellas, she had one. "Snow White," one of her favorite fairy tales, was retold. Some moments were painful (as anyone recovering from writer's block can attest), but as the days went by, as she went to the page, day in and out, everything else fell away. And my beautiful, amazing, beloved wife finished her first novella. Seven, a lesbian Snow White, is done, and will be released Thursday. <3 <3 <3

Today, I read the novella for the last time--the fully edited, feature-length motion picture edition, if you will. :) And I was floored.

I've known my whole life what an amazing writer my wife was. But all that I've known before is incomparable to what has come, now, to what has opened up within her, and what has begun. The novella is intoxicating. I have wished forever and forever and forever for a story about magic and beauty and pain and darkness, and for a story about a girl like me, with a love that could consume you, heart and soul. And, in every hope for such a thing, I have been disappointed. Nothing in the world is comparable to Seven, and that is an amazing, wondrous thing, because it is filling a hole that needed to be filled.

To be able to overcome something so serious as a writer's block that has lasted almost a decade, and to debut with something so incredibly beautiful, is an accomplishment that is deep and lovely. I am so proud of my wife, so proud to be her wife, so proud and humbled to work on these projects with her. <3

Seven was only the beginning. Now, the novel A Currency of Roses begins...a novel written by my wife that is going to forever shift the face of Gay YA. And who knows? Maybe Currency will, eventually, someday, lead to White.

I know I'm her wife. I know I'm supposed to be her biggest fan. I know you're probably thinking, "Sarah, that's sweet, but your opinion doesn't count and can't possibly be valid, as you're so close to her." But when you read Seven, you're going to understand. You'll see. <3

Until Thursday. <3

Current Mood: awake

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Stuff and Nonsense

- So, my award-winning (THAT IS JUST SO SPARKLY, GAH. *JOY FOREVER*) short story, "The Witch Sea," has FINALLY been changed to free on Amazon (after a two month wait!), but it's just in time for the holiday weekend, and I'm glad it's finally done! :) (Don't ask--I had to do technical things to subvert the system and make it free, and technology is not that easy to subvert, lemme tell ya!) It's about a lonely witch, a sea god, and a selkie, and I'd love to see it get pretty high on the free charts, because everyone needs a little lesbian fiction in their lives! If you have a Kindle, please consider downloading the short story, and if you don't have a Kindle, please consider spreading the word--every little bit helps, and is much appreciated! ♥

Download "The Witch Sea" for FREE!

- After an awesome conversation with Rachel last night that energized and FILLED ME WITH SPARKLE, I stayed up until four thirty in the morning finishing the redesign of my author site, Oceanid.org. I wanted it SUPER SIMPLIFIED, while still giving important information, and be a portal for the book links on their various sellers, our blog and my various social media presences. I THINK IT DOES ITS DUTY. AND IS ALSO PINK WHILE DOING IT. I am pleased. (The graphic at the top is actually a stock image I purchased forever and a day ago--it'll be used for a cover, eventually, too, but it looks so happy up there! :) *pets it*)

- I kind of feel like the father of an about-to-be-born child. Jenn has gone into the bedroom with her laptop, to finish the end of her novella, Seven: A Lesbian Snow White, and I'm out here, in the living room, working on my own writing, hoping its going well for her. :D *fret* *chews nail* This is the first piece of writing she'll have finished in...well...a very long time. And it wasn't easy. And she's worked so hard on it, and it is so fucking brilliant, and I'm so proud of her and so nervous for her, and just...gah! :D *paces* *waits to hear imaginary-baby-of-a-novella cry*

- I'm currently working on a short story for an anthology I was invited to! <3 I went past the deadline, and they were awesome and had already granted me wiggle room if I needed it, and I am FINALLY finishing it up today, and am very happy with it~ I'll talk a little more about it after it's absolute in all ways. :D

- SPEAKING of novels, I should be finished-finished-finished with The Bone Girl tomorrow, ready to send it off to the Women of Lovely Feedback, and then the final edits will be flying, and it should definitely hit its tentative release date (which is slowly shaping up to be a definite release date!) of June 26th! I worked very hard on this novel, but it's been super kind to its author (UNLIKE OTHER NOVELS I COULD NAME), so it was kind of a breeze to get everything down. :) I love the main character, Lutese, love her love interest, Mara (she's so awesome and kick ass~ <3), I love Ozz and Roar and Valienne, and I hope that people are going to enjoy it as much as I did. :) <3 It's a strange little novel--Twixt and Ragged are much more edgy in obvious ways, but The Bone Girl has its own kind of edge to it. The whole basis of the book is how far are you going to go to be true to yourself, and if you have no empathy, what will you do to find it? Lu starts out in the story really caring about no one but herself, and--at the end of the novel--we see a marked shift in her perceptions and empathy. She's fallen in love with an outcast, and she (possibly!) is the bone girl of the prophecies, and the world is dying, and people need help, and she always closed to her eyes to every last bit of other people's suffering...until she can't, anymore. There are elemental spirits, shape-shifting Low, Animal Balls of grandeur and beauty, and a one hundred year dead spell where nothing grows, and Skin Peddlers who steal and buy and sell skins, and a Priest of the Church of the Skinned who doesn't necessarily believe that having your original skin means you're pure (blasphemy!) and a fire and, and... courage. And hope. And love. <3 I can't wait to share it with you!

- After finishing The Bone Girl, I'm turning right back around and finishing The Dream Queen (The graphic novel/web comic of the lesbian Midsummer Night's Dream!), and then I have to typeset the first volume of Sappho's Fables, which so many people are excited about! <3 <3 <3 I'm excited about it, too~ :) Tentative release dates on Seven are THIS WEDNESDAY, OMG!, and then next week Wednesday for the first volume. :D

- Also, this Wednesday, the next Fable Tribe update! <3

- If you haven't noticed, I wanted this to be a post of other! Exciting! Things!, but we don't really have much going on right now besides WRITING FOREVER AND EVER HOORAY. There are a lot of looming deadlines, but we're very excited about all of them, because once the novels and novellas and volumes are out, things can slow down a tiny bit. As you know, we make all of our moolahs from our novels, novellas and short stories and the Fable Tribe, and we work very, very hard to be able to do this. Inhumanly hard, honestly. :) We never take breaks, we put in nineteen hour days OFTEN. NORMALLY. Mortal humans can't live at that speed. Soon, though, we're going to make almost ALL of our monthly budget from books, freeing us up from having to put out a Fable Tribe update every two weeks AND write, AND edit AND... :) And then our lives will ALSO be my FAVORITE WORD: SUSTAINABLE. When all I want to do is write, THAT IS WHAT I SHALL DO. When all I want to do is glue glitter to things, THAT IS WHAT I SHALL DO. And SOME DAYS? SOME DAYS I AM GOING TO FINALLY BE ABLE TO SLEEP IN. :D OH, GLORIOUS SLEEP. *writes an Ode to it* I want so very little from life, and I have everything I need--now, I just need to order it so that I can occasionally take breaks and be a little gentler with myself. :) We're almost there, baby!!! <--PSYCHED

- I got a fan letter that made me cry yesterday. :) It was so heartfelt and vulnerable and beautiful, and I felt so humbled after reading it. I know that some people think that when someone pours out their heart to an author, explaining what their books meant to them, an author might not pay attention or be touched by it, but I promise you: that's not true. We are changed by the love given to our stories, as the stories themselves are changed when they are read with that much love. <3 I had a moment of deep, boundless gratitude for that letter, and I'm never going to forget it.

- ...And that is all the sparkle that is fit to print. <3 <3 <3

Current Mood: good

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Words, Fairs and Moons

I spent all day jurying for the Pullman Memorial Alternative Craft Fair, and am just so ecstatic and grateful for the talent that's taking part in the fair. There are some amazing, amazing local artisans, and--as I knew it would be--putting on a show is very different from just being in one. When you're in a show, the sense of community is strong and vital--everyone wants to help, whether you need a tent stake or you left the tablecloth at home. You make acquaintances, and then--even faster--you make friends. You're surrounded by people who are selling the art of their passion, the crafts of their dreams, and there's this really beautiful sense of ease about it all. It can definitely get stressful if it's an outdoor show, and it rains (am I going to make back the vending fee? Is everyone else going to make back their vending fee?), but even then, it turns into a big joke, because who can control the gods or the weather? Everyone laughs with everyone else, and you make the most of it, because that's what you do, standing around the coffee tent, hands wrapped around warm paper cups, listening to the rain patter on the earth, talking with a friend you didn't know existed before yesterday.

So, when you're building a fair from the ground up, all of the beautiful things you knew as a vendor are magnified. The sense of community is even stronger, because even people who can't participate in the festival are now your acquaintances, and the thing about alternative and indie and art and craft people? They're really fucking nice. They're doing what they dreamed about doing, and that makes them just happy and grateful to be there, centered in themselves, built of the gravity of creation and inspiration. There's nothing else like it in the world. Every time Jenn and I vended at a show or fair or festival, we'd come away from it in awe of that community, that sense of abundance and contentment and joy.

And here and now, we're building it. I'm so humbled and grateful to be leading this project with my incredible wife. I'm making connections and friendships and having moments that are just so fucking splendid. It is hard work--you've gotta keep five-million-bean-bags-in-the-air-at-the-same-time, but you don't really notice how much you're juggling or how fast you're going, because there's this whirlwind of people with you, and it's about buttons and art and paper and string, all creating something new and brilliant and beautiful, and the world opens up, because it needs and wants more art. It's hungry for it. So the universe makes things easier, and the days fly by, and you find yourself spending hours looking at tiny pictures on Etsy and making decisions, and scribbling things down in big notebooks with pink and green gel pens, and drinking your tea and feeling really complete and happy.

Because you're doing something you love doing. And you realize that it's pretty fucking wonderful. And you're just...grateful.

~*~

My novel, The Bone Girl, is coming along beautifully. I write so much, everyday, words, words, words, and I think and I feel and I drink so much tea and I think some more and there's more writing...

Cover art, official blurb and excerpt coming soon. I just wanted to mention that it's being a very good girl to its author, of which I am very grateful. <3 (I AM LOOKING AT YOU, RAGGED.)

~*~

Jenn and I went for a walk last night beneath the grinning sickle moon, and a scattering of glowing, vibrant stars. We talked about our move to Massachusetts, being queer and puppies.

This is my life. <3 <3 <3

I'm so fucking grateful.

Current Mood: good

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jenn and me,
love

Happy Birthday, Beautiful

As Jenn's actual birthday (yesterday) was spent in celebration, this is the morning where I post the birthday post--I hope you'll indulge a lot of joy and love here. <3 <3 <3

Though this is from Rachel's photo stream, I took this picture. I'll never forget when Rachel laughed, handed the camera over to me and pointed to it: "it's so obvious you took this one," she said with a grin, "Jenn only ever looks at you like that." <33333333333333

On Friday night, Jenn and I curled up with some pressies and tea, cuddling together, listening to the roaring of the wind outside. Eight years to the moment before that, a nervous young woman packed her old suitcase, staring out the window at the glittering stars, wondering what the next day would hold. That young woman was me. And though I'd professed undying love to Jenn three months before, I had never met her--and, until two days previous--had not even seen a picture of her.

Here's the big spoiler alert: the next day, I rode an old Greyhound bus down to Pittsburgh, fell into Jenn's arms and found true love. And though ten million things had to happen, five thousand stars had to align and the world had to spin in a certain, almost impossible way for us to meet and fall in love, it did. And I have spent every day of my life from that one trying to articulate my gratitude, living to love her.

So, you must know that Jenn's birthday is my favorite day in the world. My beautiful bride was born on that day, and there's no better span of hours I can think of to celebrate. My life was made complete, my joy made physical in her presence and her love.

I love this woman more than anything.

As we looked through some of the letters we'd sent to each other in the beginnings, the books we made for each other, the poems and stories we'd written for each other, the countless, countless cards, I had one of those moments where you look at your life and the place you've ended up, and you can't believe it actually happened, and maybe you have this totally bizarre and improbable fear that there is some other Sarah in some other place without her Jenn, and how lonely and sad and small she is without knowing true love.

But then, of course, since it's a blustery night, and you have tea and your sweetheart, you push such a very silly, dramatic thought from your head and kiss your wife for good measure. Because she's real, and she's here, and it happened. The big, beautiful "it" of finding your soul mate, of about-to-be-stepping-into-a-birthday-weekend-of-bliss, of being side by side with the most important person in the world. And just being grateful.

I have these random moments sometimes, where I "wake up." It'll be a perfectly normal day, we'll be having this ridiculous conversation, and I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe, and I wake up. And I look at her, and I get this thudding in my heart, and I KNOW in that moment how precious things are, how precious she is, how precious what we have is, and I just gather her into my arms, press her head to my heart and kiss her. I don't know why the Universe gave me this gift, I can't understand how the ten million things that had to go right did in order for us to be together.

But, as always, I spend the rest of my life in awe of the beauty of love. And living to love her.

Happy birthday, beautiful, my baby, my everything. I. Love. You.

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Happy Valentine's Day! And A MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT:

(This was originally written for The Sorcery of Love, so I refer to myself as Elora herein. <3)

~*~

Happy, happy Valentine's Day! <3

We've waited forever to announce this--we wanted to wait until today, V-Day, because WE LIKE SPECIAL THINGS TO HAPPEN ON SPECIAL DAYS. ;D

You know that I'm Elora Bishop--that I write magical lesbian love stories (and lesbian YA love stories as another name), but you might not know that my wife, Jennifer Diemer, is also a writer. A supremely talented one at that (which, I realize you'll have to take with a grain of salt since she's my wife, and you know how very much I love her, but really--WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE)--she has a degree in creative writing (graduating at the head of her class, of course--she's a perfectionist!), is a world-class editor, and an amazing, amazing storyteller. We've had quite a few writing projects together that were just for us, or that we haven't OFFICIALLY announced to the world yet, but one of our oldest ones was an old zine online (sadly, defunct for years now!) that we put up in 2004/2005, called Inamorata. It was a compendium of fairy tales, retold as lesbian. It was one of my favorite things that we've ever shared together. <3

But my wife Jenn and I have been retelling fairy tales as lesbian for far longer than that--as long as we've been writing. Fairy tales are part and parcel of who we are--they're in our blood. We were married in fairy wings, have bits of fairy tales tattooed on our skin, and we even take very old, unloved fairy tale books and re-envision them as wearable art. Fairy tales are utterly essential to who we are as people, and who we are as a wife and wife duo. <3

The thing is, that--though we love fairy tales deeply--something has always felt...off for us, in the fairy tale world. You know--the fact that there were no women like us: ladies who love other ladies.

So, like any authors would do...we set about and changed that. And we want to do it again. <3

There are very, very, very few lesbian retellings of fairy tales. Most of them are erotica--which, there is ALWAYS a place for erotica, but I also believe that there is a place for creative, literary re-envisionings of all of the major fairy tales (and some that most people have forgotten about!) that are NOT erotica, but are, rather, stories about women who love other women, who are courageous, who kicks ass, who wear their crowns tilted sideways, who have daring adventures and magical encounters and who fall madly and completely in love and get their fairy tale endings.

And so, Jenn and I are pleased to present a series of novellas entitled Sappho's Fables. We have taken all of the most well known fairy tales, some from long ago that we already retold, some that we are redoing all over again, and releasing them individually as eBooks for each novella, and then volumes of collected novellas that will also be available in print. The first three stories that we chose are:

Snow White

Hansel and Gretel

Rapunzel

They will be gathered in the volume available in both print and eReader versions entitled Sappho's Fables, Volume 1!

~*~

You might be saying--Elora, my favorite fairy tale isn't in the first volume! No despairing! :) Here is a projected list of the upcoming volumes. Though these are subject to change, we're pretty set on all of them. No, unfortunately, I don't have dates on any of these releases! You can either add this blog to your RSS, or add me on Facebook or on Twitter--I promise that when we get closer to actual dates, I will let you know! <3

Sappho's Fables, Volume 2:

Follow the Wolf (Red Riding Hood) -- Elora
Shimmer (Rumpelstiltskin) -- Elora
Thirteen (Twelve Dancing Princesses) -- Jenn

Sappho's Fables, Volume 3:

Heart of Snow (The Snow Queen) -- Jenn
Kiss the Frog (The Frog Prince) -- Elora
Sea Change (The Little Mermaid) -- Elora

Sappho's Fables, Volume 4:

Ember (Cinderella) -- Elora
The Sleeping City (Sleeping Beauty) -- Jenn
The Prince and the Pea (The Princess and the Pea) -- Jenn

Sappho's Fables, Volume 5:

Thorn (Beauty and the Beast) -- Jenn
Kitten Heels (Puss in Boots) -- Elora
Wingless (The Wild Swans) -- Elora

ALSO, after the above volumes are released, we have a very special short story collection entitled Snow White Loves Rose Red--it will be the last volume in the series, and cover some of our very favorite fairy tales--the lesser known ones that are still beautiful. Details on that coming soon! <3

~*~

What can you expect from these stories? These are not your typical fairy tales. Expect some more traditional retellings, but also post-apocalyptic fairy tales, biopunk, steampunk, mythicpunk, paranormal, science fiction...we had two driving goals in these releases: put out oustanding lesbian literature, and also very, very original retellings. We can not WAIT to share them with you. <3

So yes! We are SO EXCITED to be releasing these so soon! Details to follow! <3 <3 <3

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Pink and Purple <3

So, we've been in Florida for over a week! We just got home yesterday. :) Right before we left, I got horrific food poisoning (about five hours after I finished the Fable Tribe's first update--at least it let me finish it! ;D), so I feel like I have eighty bazmillion things to catch up on/emails to respond to, AND I DO, along with eleven thousand posts of Sparkle! to make. But, until then, have a picture of pink and purple ladies, taken in Florida. <333333333333

I finally got my pink hair. <3333333333 I feel so not-like-myself without it.

At the airport on the way to Florida!! <3333333

(Notes: I left the dye on for MUCH less time than you're supposed to, because I needed to dye it back to blonde yesterday (basically, I was only pink haired for eight days), so when I'm finally ETERNALLY a pink-haired-sparkle-princess, it will be much more vibrant than what you see here. I used N'Rage's Bubblegum Pink, and loved the coloration [I also love that you can get it at Sally's Beauty Supply, which is where we get Jenn's purple], so will probably keep that when I can be eternally pink~ <3)

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For Better or Worse: Why It's Bittersweet That I Could Get Legally Married in NY

The beginnings of our marriage license. <3

Jenn hung our marriage license in our bedroom today. I noticed it when I was taking off my earrings when I came home from work. We'd talked about finding the most special place possible for it, proudly displayed in its new frame. It's right next to our gigantic "happily ever after" plaque, and when I saw it, I got teary eyed all over again.

If you're a straight person, reading the above paragraph, you might not understand it. A marriage license is something you've always been allowed to have, something you've never had to think about. That's not your fault. You were born that way. You were allowed marriage and I wasn't, though your love is not better or worse than my love. Not better or worse, just different. But the ramifications of its differentness impacts me deeply and legally. Or, it did. Until a few months ago.

You see, Jenn and I live in New York state. NY began to allow gay marriages on July 24, 2011. I remember that day with such a striking vividness, though I remember the moment that they announced it as legal much, much clearer.

We were having a fairy party (you are not surprised) over the weekend, and many of our guests had already arrived that evening when my best friend--who hadn't yet made it--called me. I couldn't hear her amidst the laughter, so I went into the bedroom, hand clasped over my other ear. "...it passed?" she yelled breathlessly, exuberant. "I don't know if it passed, silly!" I laughed back, "we don't know if it's going to be voted on tonight..." "No!" she shouted. "SARAH. It PASSED."

My world fell away. I stood, silent, limp when she said: "SARAH? DID YOU HEAR ME? IT PASSED."

And then I began to sob. I sobbed, breathless, for five minutes, turning, blind, to collapse into Jenn's arms. I kept crying, everyone gathered worriedly. "It didn't pass?" someone whispered, and only then did I find my voice, only then did months, years of activism, of praying, of frustration, of abuse from angry, homophobic people fall completely away into my personal history as I gulped air, shook my head, and through my tears I said over and over again like someone who's been given the world: "no. It PASSED. Oh god, it passed."

I'd always been so afraid, though I'd tried to hide it. Afraid that Jenn would get sick, that they wouldn't let me see her in the hospital. Afraid something terrible might happen to me, and she be left with nothing (the house is in my name). All of the little things that a married couple never even has to think about I thought about day and night. For Jenn and I were already married, though it wasn't legal. And if she'd gotten ill or something had happened to me, it would have meant nothing to the faceless systems that would keep us apart.

It sounds science fiction-y, doesn't it. Like something out of a movie, that in this day and age, two passionately and madly in love people could be kept from one another in the moments that matter most. My worst nightmares contained faceless hospital staff that stood and barred the door, refusing me admittance to the room where my wife lay, calling for me. It's a grotesque and dramatic image, but it happens every single day in this country. Every single day in every single state that does not have gay marriage or protection for gay couples.

It wasn't just about the legal ramifications, the safety that would be afforded to us once it passed. It was the "less than" status that, every day, we combated. Gay marriage in NY state has not been a miracle pill. In our rural community, it's still sometimes frightening to be an openly gay woman. Countless people still look down at us, hate us, make the everyday, simple task of holding hands a political statement open for commentary by every stranger passing.

But we're legal. We are no longer less than. And that has begun to make all the difference.

The problem, now, is...well, I'm calling it "survivor's guilt." You see, we have a lot of gay friends. Many of them don't live in NY. Some of our dearest loved ones are not allowed the exact same rights that we have because of geography, because of the state they live in. Which seems so odd, so wrong, so ridiculous to me that I have a hard time understanding it. L and J, two beautiful hearts and so in love women, cannot marry because their state doesn't allow it. So, while I am afforded the legal safety and privileges of marriage, they are still in the cold and dark of waiting for their state to see progress, to see empathy and equality. There is nothing different about their love from ours.

The only difference is geography.

I can't stop looking at our marriage license. I have such mixed feelings when I do. Relief. Elation. Love. Joy. Happiness. Gratitude.

And sadness that I'm one of the "lucky" ones. When we should ALL be the "lucky" ones.

Some of our older gay friends have reminded me, gently, that Rome wasn't built in a day. When Jenn and I fell in love, eight years ago, we could never have imagined that we would, today, be legally married. THAT seemed like science fiction, and yet--look. Eight "short" years later, and I wear a beautiful, shining wedding band that symbolizes, as simple metal can try, everlasting love. Who knows what eight years more can do?

I have hope. I have faith.

And though I am now afforded these shiny, new legal rights, I can't stop. No one can stop. And no one is stopping. We are all still trying, still fighting, and we will never stop fighting for equal rights for all. Everywhere. EveryONE.

Regardless of geography.

(cross-posted at Muse Rising)

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SPARKLE ROOM

My dearest ladies and gentlefae, you know that my beloved wife and I have worked tirelessly on transforming an unused space in our home into a veritable grotto of sacred acts of creation involving much LIBERAL USE OF GLUE AND GLITTER (translation: A CRAFT ROOM :D). We have FINALLY finished.

It is:

THE SPARKLE ROOM.

And now, here, we present it to you in all of its purple, glitter, rainbow-y decor and glory for your amusement and enjoyment. BE WARNED: THERE ARE MANY COLORS. ADJUST YOUR EYES BEFORE ENTERING. <3 <3 <3

If you step over the rainbow rug, you will enter: SPARKLE ROOM.

( SPARKLES FOREVER )

It was so important to us to be surrounded by things our loved ones have gifted us with, precious treasures that make us smile and remind us of them. <3 There is so much joy and sparkle and love and happiness in that room--it is the most perfect place in the world to create, and we are so in love with it, happy with it, and grateful for it. <3

We want to go through and make posts like this for all of the rooms in our home. <3 We're so happy with how the bedroom looks, finally, and we're almost done re-ordering the Temple Room (AGAIN, we do this every month, I swear--we love changing it up! :D), so that'll be next~ <3

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Saving Stories

We didn't go to church yesterday--the first Sunday we've been home and haven't gone since summer. Jenn and I lay curled up in bed, limbs tangled, and talked for hours. We did that Saturday morning, too. One of my favorite things about the weekend are the leisurely snuggles we're able to get, entwining our fingers together, cracking jokes and then getting serious and then dissolving the seriousness with jokes again. The warmth of her next to me, the softness of the blankets, the sunshine streaming through the lace curtains: heaven on earth. Precious beyond reason...

Perfect.

~*~

My mom asked me this morning: how are you coping with Shiva being gone? And I told her the truth: I'm writing constantly. It's all I do, words, words, words--it's the most potent form of relief and catharsis I've ever known, and the way I've dealt with everything in my life. When I dive into the story, there's such a sweet sense of peace in the words coming right and the story weaving as I hoped it would, and even when it doesn't, to "pull out all the stitches," so to speak, and make it what I hoped it would be again.

Nova, Jenn's parents' beloved dog, passed away over the weekend. When Jenn told me, I just sort of sat there in shock for a good long moment, then we sat and held one another, crying. Jenn's parents--both of them some of the best people I've ever known--loved that dog more than can be articulated. She was so old, so sick--they'd found her wandering on the side of the road a few months ago, emaciated (even when we volunteered at the shelter, I've never seen an animal that bad) and hardly able to walk, and did everything they could to find her original owners (who were probably assholes if her condition was any indication, which it is), and took her to the vet countless times, and--basically--Nova found the best possible home in the entire cosmos to end her life in.

We've often joked that Jenn's parents' house has a gigantic neon sign pointing to it that every stray who needs it can see. <3

~*~

My next novel, Ragged: A Post-Apocalyptic Fairy Tale is coming out January 24th--two weeks and one day. I've got to get everything set up, set up a blog tour, start to ask reviewers if they'd like a copy, do eleventy billion other things to get the knowledge of the book out there, but I'm sad and tired and feeling quiet. This isn't a bad thing--every individual needs time to grieve--but it's not a great idea when you're trying to launch the follow up to your first novel. A lot of people are looking forward to the novel, which is going to help it, I know, and this quietness will pass next week, I'm sure. I hope. Eh...

Side note: I posted two excerpts from the novel over the weekend in my Tumblr--Talula's first kiss, and then the follow up "gay" scene, which is one of my favorites in the novel. If ye be readin' them, please enjoy. <3

~*~

I spent a lot of time hugging the animals this weekend. This happens every day, but instead of singing them ridiculous songs (and then hugging them) and dancing with them (and then hugging them) and playing games with them (and then hugging them), I just...hugged them. They were, of course, very weirded out by this. "BUT, MOM, WHY YOU BE SO SERIOUS?"

~*~

We spent a lot of time putting together the Sparkle Room. If you've ever visited our house, you know how craft supplies take up every available square inch of space. There were blank Glamourkin tiles in the freezer, I'm sure. We've been wanting to make a dedicated space for crafting now, which is CRAZY since we craft everywhere in our house, but we also wanted the ability to make very dangerous things and not have the animals around.

We haven't unveiled our new Etsy shop yet, but we will soon. One of the more interesting/exciting things about it is exactly what I'm deconstructing and then constructing again, and how. It involves a hacksaw. I MAY have almost sliced off my thumb in one of my more ~~stupid~~ daring moves. Jenn gets very nervous when I'm hacksawing.

So, yeah. A separate room is a GOOD IDEA. :D

We had ideas for the Sparkle Room for ages, and we've been gathering them together. We wanted it to be the brightest, most inspiring space we could create, and we used a lot of things from our wedding--not only are they no longer sitting in boxes, but we get to see them everyday and get all smushy and happy, just looking at them and the memories involved. :) <3 So now there's the Temple Room for writing and spiritual endeavors and the Sparkle Room for all things crafty. When we get things a little more organized, we will take eleventy billion pictures, because WE REALLY LOVE IT, and are ridiculously happy with how it came out. :)

Jenn and I just keep wandering into it, standing in the center, and even though it's still messy, we look about with a nerdily euphoric look on our faces and say THIS IS THE HAPPIEST PLACE IN THE WORLD.

This is also helping the general sadness of the household with its BRIGHT COLORS and rampant MY LITTLE PONIES and STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKES.

~*~

From New Year's Day, on the lake shore~ <3

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Offbeat Bride!

This continues to be the AWESOMEST DAY OF EVER. We were featured in Offbeat Bride--AGAIN! :D

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We Are Family

This is the week of potluck suppers. On Monday night, it was our first Unitarian Universalist potluck, tonight it's the monthly Gay Potluck (capitalized!).

Gathering around the table, rubbing elbows and passing dishes with people who make you laugh and feel completely safe and important and needed...I really can't think of anything better in the world. Your opinion is valued, the conversations are witty and passionate and filled with compassion, and--at the end of the day, driving home with your wife's hand clasped gently in your own--you're filled with such a deep sense of belonging, that you can feel the heartbeat of the universe in your bones.

It doesn't matter what was served--though you can tell the depth of their care by their asking what sort of food we vegetarians prefer, and making certain there's plenty of exactly what you mentioned there. It doesn't matter if you show up late or early. There will be people there, warm lights shining in a cobblestone house or out of stained glass windows in an ancient church that sits, comfortable and cozy and waiting to welcome you.

I don't know how we lived without this church, or the people in it in our lives. B makes our days bright--I love him so much it makes my heart hurt, sometimes. He's the epitome of goodness and kindness, the absolute consummate fairy godfather. I wish I could frame these little moments in my heart and keep them forever--I hope I can. He cares about us so much, and just knowing that he and his love exists makes the world beautiful.

L, the pastor's wife, is my saint. She's so passionate, she sets the world on fire--she's so radical and strong and courageous that--single handedly--she could make the planet turn back on its axis if she wanted. I have never seen a woman so dedicated to ideals and so adverse to just sitting there and waxing philosophic about them. She changes shit. I've told her, over and over again, what an inspiration she is to me as a gay rights activist and lesbian author, and she always turns it around and says that I'm inspiring, and then I'm like YOU ARE CHANGING THE WORLD, CRAZY LADY, I AM JUST WRITING BOOKS, and we always end the conversations with hugs and me in tears and this overflowing feeling of disbelief in my heart that I ever existed without knowing her. She challenges me, every single day, to be a stronger person, to do and be and create more, to change the world every second, not just occasionally. I am so endlessly inspired by her presence in my life.

Tonight, we're going to the Gay Potluck, and I've looked forward to it so incredibly much since the last one. There, we are surrounded by people who have been through...everything. And still manage to have such incredible dignity, such grace and compassion. I don't understand how they do it, sometimes, and I am continuously challenged by them to be even better. If they've been through so much, and still maintain their lives with beauty and compassion, surely I can try to do the same. Again, they care about Jenn and I so much, and I am just so vastly humbled and grateful for that. We'll pass around plates of decadence (and Jenn's cupcakes that Bill asked, so excitedly, for her to make <3), and we'll talk about the state of the world and each other's gardens and hearts, and speak of politics and books and gay kids and recipes, and at the end of the night, we'll leave the little cobblestone house filled with the satisfaction that there is a place for us in the world. There will be so much love in our hearts, they'll feel full to bursting, and we'll begin the looking-forward-to-ness again for next month, and another dinner with our gay family.

Because that's what these circles are--families. Created families. The warmth and compassion and kindness and love that fills those walls and words and gestures sustain us in the times when we're apart, knowing that there is a place for us--that we belong without any doubt.

Being an openly lesbian woman is not easy. Some days, it's fine. Some days, it's a fucking nightmare. No matter what, surrounded by our church or gay families, I can hold Jenn's hand, drape my arm about her shoulder, talk with hardly concealed glee and love about how much I adore her, and it's met with love and cheer and joy and an "of course." I don't have to explain it or fight for it there and I am treated no differently for it. Which...I can't even explain how that feels, to be treated not differently. Gods.

It's...sublime. Perfect.

I have three created families. You here...you're one of them. And I miss you terribly. I get to see you perhaps a few times a year, and the times in between are sad and despondent for me, because of how much I miss you.

But now, in the in between times, my feelings of belonging, of love, don't need to wilt away to nothingness. They are nurtured by the two new families that we began in June, here.

I am so grateful, so humbled, so deeply content that I have this--a spiritual family, a gay family, to share my days with, to feel when all the world is against me that there is some small, blessed portion that is not.

When the dark comes sooner, when the days grow colder, when the world turns to winter...my heart is filled and warm.

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jenn and me,
love

Love Letters

Late last night, as I was finishing up the last of the Glamourkin necklaces for the update, Jenn seated companionably beside me, our feet touching under the table (warm and soft and comfort-filled), I stopped. There were beads in my hand, wire curled about my fingers, and I just...stopped.

A memory hit me hard, and I looked to Jenn, eyes wide: "Sweetheart, what day is it?"

"October twelfth," she replied, lifting her glue covered brush, eyes twinkling. "Why?"

"October twelfth," I repeated, a grin slowly spreading across my face. "Eight years ago...right now..." I glanced at the clock. "This very moment, actually--I was writing a letter."

"The letter," she said, eyes wide, and we both paused and considered that for a long moment. I took her hand, fingers curling over her skin, the skin I know so well, the bones I've memorized, the lines and fingerprints my favorite curves in the world as we interlaced our digits. Eight years ago, in that moment, I could only have dreamed of what I eventually found. For, eight years ago, I was writing a love letter that poured my heart out to Jenn, telling her the truth: how much I loved her, that--in fact--I loved her...not even knowing if she was gay.

Sometimes, I think about everything it took to get here, and I close my eyes and whisper to the Goddess, over and over and over again: thank You, thank You, thank You. If one thing had gone amiss, if one ounce of courage had been misplaced, I never would have found my way here, married to my soul mate, the love of my life, my absolute and shining other half.

Eight years ago, I could only (and did, every second of every day) dream of a love like this. A love that grows, every single day, the soft place to land, the completion of my soul, my wishes, my dreams. She is my world, my stars, my heavenly body, and I am in thrall of her gravity.

I have been married almost two weeks. I have been smitten, in love, in joy for almost eight years.

My very being is a deep gratitude that is beyond definition.

(photo by the incomparable Laura Vasilion~)

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Love Forever

WE ARE LEGALLY MARRIED. <3333333333333333333333333

(Photo by the incomparable Laura Vasilion; most gigantic, love-and-sparkle filled post of all time coming soon. <3)